tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79163545235936040202011-08-02T15:04:11.288-07:00Tales of nonsense and items of little interest, sometimes true, always poorly thought through. Less sophisticated than most newspapers and magazines.Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.comBlogger1751100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-59624646215038998412009-08-02T21:31:00.000-07:002009-08-02T22:07:37.658-07:00

Something is wrong with the family hound. It started out as quite amusing but now, after a week, it is becoming unnerving. I have to say that up until recently, over the 5 or so years that we have had our dog, I do not recall ever seeing his penis (at least not without going looking for it.) He has always been something of a sexually inactive dog, despite having a female companion for much of the

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-13434134225334661982009-07-26T16:43:00.000-07:002009-07-26T16:55:07.856-07:00

<!--[if gte mso 9]> Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]> <![endif]--> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman";

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-3662244481850680952009-07-19T17:20:00.000-07:002009-07-19T17:52:15.847-07:00

Forever on the look out for ways in which I can serve my fellow man (and woman, especially woman) I have found the answer to Cameron Diaz' door knob phobia while at the same time providing a job to a very deserving individual.Jeff Kepner lost both hands and feet to a bacterial infection about a decade ago (should have used Purell) and recently became the proud owner of two new hands as the first

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-22039096151044145482009-07-19T07:13:00.000-07:002009-07-19T08:04:55.609-07:00

So I recently read somewhere that Cameron Diaz is afraid of door knobs. This doesn't surprise me, she has always seemed like a bit of an uppity bitch to me and it isn't too much of a stretch to believe that she has a problem with us "common" folk. I do have to say though that I can almost sympathize with her after an unfortunate incident during a power outage while I was using a train station

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-51327834286260219392009-07-17T20:41:00.000-07:002009-07-17T21:46:33.103-07:00

It's been a long time. I know. I have probably been given up for dead by many of the faithful contributors who used to frequent this blog. I can only hope that some will welcome me back, if not with open open arms than at least with the same disgust and contempt that they previously showed me.Doubtless some will ask questions. Where have you been? What have you been doing? Do you have that money

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-11279883951260396222008-10-25T08:18:00.000-07:002008-10-25T08:44:49.939-07:00

The Waring Family has relocated. The last three months have been busy and stressful to say the least. The Bay Area real estate market is fuckin' astronomically expensive and we are finally moving into our new home in about a week.I will be back in a week or two. Until then, continue to blog amongst yourselves.

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-26567460296909042912008-07-04T14:02:00.000-07:002008-07-04T15:20:55.321-07:00

As you know, I loves me a tale of the unexpected. An oddity, something or someone, an event or happening of such singularity that many might find disturbing or just not worth their time are things upon which I waste most of mine. A story in today's weird news section caught my eye and is worthy of mention.First off, if I was going to go get me a dog, I think I would be going to get me a miniature

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-76043453094674492592008-06-28T14:46:00.000-07:002008-06-28T15:13:51.915-07:00

It has become apparent to me that airports and airplanes are popular hunting grounds for single man trying to find a mate. In my last post I told you about the sad bastard hitting on a poor female on a plane. Last night I was witness to yet another attempt to by a man to "get him some." This time it was much less painful for the victims as this guy had no game whatsoever. It was over in a matter

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-62167689972925550782008-06-13T19:12:00.001-07:002008-06-13T21:39:15.837-07:00

Have you ever been witness to the feeble attempts by one of your fellow humans to pick up a member of the opposite sex? It can be amusing, sad, infuriating, uncomfortable....many things. I choose to look upon these situations as life lessons. Where did the lad go wrong? What did he do that worked? Was it his body language? Was it the overpowering scent of his Brut 33 or the overpowering scent of

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-64342474636017882382008-06-07T05:34:00.000-07:002008-06-07T07:00:10.175-07:00

I have neglected my blog of late. I'm surprised (and somewhat disappointed) that the squatters haven't moved in and turned it into a dirty porno site or something. I also thought Blogger might take it away from me since it was apparently abandoned, but I don't get away that easy. I'm going to try and be a better blogger. By "better" I mean post more often, not actually be better at blogging. No,

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-81541330840136012042008-04-12T20:08:00.000-07:002008-04-12T21:31:43.982-07:00

Sweaty arses are IN.... They must be given the number of people looking for them on the internet these days. So far this year "Sweaty Arse" is the number 1 search term used by visitors to the LB.No fewer than 25 people you would not want to have coffee with have found this blog by using "sweaty arse" in their Google search. LB comes in at #6 on Google and it is my aim to make it #1, hopefully by

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-20740590069054197972008-03-30T11:51:00.000-07:002008-03-30T22:55:22.983-07:00

Once again, our filthy Hollywood "street entertainers" in their ragged, stained and in all likelihood stolen costumes are keeping things real down on the boulevard. Many millions of tourists hit Hollywood Boulevard every year expecting to see movie stars and/or be discovered by a director out scouting for the next big thing. It's more likely that they will see a mentally ill, piss soaked specimen

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-57332317460437550492008-03-30T09:30:00.000-07:002008-03-30T09:58:31.837-07:00

Just What The Doctor Ordered....(me not to eat)Lovely.... What a great start to the day. Nothing says Sunday morning like a frying pan full of sausages. Not the weak Americano kind, no, Farmer John can kiss my hairy English arse. These are the kind of sausages that made Britain Great. It's a little documented fact that Sir Geoff Hurst ate a plateful before scoring a hat-trick to defeat the

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-4854585877991167692008-03-12T20:15:00.000-07:002008-03-12T21:11:43.307-07:00

Tonights choice of curry house turned out to be a poor one. After getting off work at 7pm, I was hungry and didn't fancy the old stand by, a bag of Funyuns and some big cans of beer.I have been trying to eat well and lately have been stopping by Safeways to pick up some salad or some cooked chicken. I didn't feel like that though and since I am still 0 of 8 towards my free deli sandwich (0 of 8

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-88808389708204147262008-03-08T22:24:00.000-08:002008-03-08T22:38:55.331-08:00

I usually do not get many takers for the middle seat next to me on airplanes. Maybe I look intimidating, maybe I stink, maybe people take one look and think “fat bastard, no way am I sitting there”, maybe it’s the joke plastic dog turd that I place strategically on the seat next to me to ward off would be invaders of my space. I don't know, but whatever the reason, I'm not complaining.For those

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-68371363447969205412008-02-18T20:26:00.000-08:002008-02-23T10:03:12.687-08:00

Up until a few weeks ago I had never been in a taxi in the States. I don't know why I found this mind numbingly boring fact interesting, but it seemed odd that in 12 years I had never had the need for one. I have been very lucky in many respects, owning my own transportation is one of them. I had been in airport shuttles, which are kind of the same but with less pressure and stress. There are

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-69076197427799255882008-02-04T20:36:00.000-08:002008-02-04T21:15:14.175-08:00

.....of the freeway.Living in a hotel sucks. It's not a bad hotel, but it's not great. It's a Best Western which I found out today are all independantly owned and operated. Generally speaking that could be translated into 'some are okay, some are shite'. Happily this one falls under okay. The name however is slightly misleading.I feel like Alan Partridge. I feel like dismantling things just to

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-46767216533256618502008-02-03T05:03:00.000-08:002008-02-03T05:50:16.758-08:00

There was a time when the NHS was the envy of the world, or so we were told as kids. Things have changed a lot since then, a population explosion of asylum seekers and immigrants, cuts in funding, rises in the cost of health care etc. Nowadays in the UK, if you have the money, you are okay, you can get whatever ails you sorted out relatively quickly and with only minor medical malpractice. If you

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-23175297383046605652008-01-12T17:48:00.000-08:002008-01-12T18:13:19.018-08:00

Inmate fighting for kosher meals ST. LOUIS - A Missouri inmate once labeled a white supremacist is fighting for his right to be served kosher meals in prison. Norman Lee Toler, serving a 10-year sentence for statutory rape, insists he is Jewish despite guards at an Illinois penitentiary catching him with photos of Adolf Hitler and white supremacist literature. He also has several white

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-9398639099428187472008-01-10T20:11:00.000-08:002008-01-10T21:01:57.998-08:00

When will this shite end?I don't watch much network TV, especially quiz and reality shows, I don't have the time nor the desire. I am proud to say that I have never actually seen many of the most popular shows on telly. I enjoy participating in conversations about who really should have won Dancing With The Stars, I throw names in there of people who weren't even on the show. I ask the others if

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-7031441326841890992008-01-06T21:50:00.000-08:002008-01-06T21:54:21.706-08:00

What sick kind of person would be giving tainted vodka to mongs? I can understand them not giving them the good vodka, as that would be a waste.....Tainted vodka kills 11 in Mongolia New Year's celebrations ULAN BATOR, Mongolia (AP) -- At least 11 people died and another 21 were hospitalized for drinking tainted vodka during New Year's Eve celebrations in Mongolia's capital, a government

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-66523742629055237332008-01-05T18:50:00.000-08:002008-01-05T19:13:22.348-08:00

I was checking my shatcounter earlier today and, as I always do, making notes of intriguing searches by way of which people find my blog. Today there was only one of interest and I wrote it down on a piece of paper to remind me to research further later. I don't know what time this was but I was still tired so I went back to bed and slept some more.When I sat back down at the PC a few minutes ago

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-26130649855365937752008-01-03T22:47:00.000-08:002008-01-03T23:00:07.918-08:00

Like millions of people all over the World, I too made the same old New Years resolution to lose weight and start yet another diet on January 1st. The first day went well, mostly due to the fact that I slept all day, woke for an hour or two to drink a couple of Stella Artois then went back to bed and slept through the night. Yesterday started well, I went to the store and bought some green leaf

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-67990715810984951902008-01-03T16:59:00.000-08:002008-01-03T17:17:58.535-08:00

That bitter auld cunt Knudsen tagged me for a meme. This is only the second one that I have been hit with and after the first one I said that I would never do another 'cause they are shite. I'm going to play along though but I'm not playing by the rules and I'm not tagging anyone so if I suddenly stop posting then it means that I was killed in some freak meme related accident so don't bother

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-53812765651684320632008-01-01T22:29:00.000-08:002008-01-01T22:49:36.763-08:00

Disabled woman set fire to hairA disabled woman was treated for burns after setting her hair on fire while trying to light a cigarette. The 57-year-old wheelchair bound woman was treated for burns to the right side of her face and head at Bolton Hospital after the accident at 8.45pm on Boxing Day.The woman from Warwick Street, Leigh, had leaned forward in her wheelchair to light the

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-85807821737841966992007-12-30T09:47:00.000-08:002007-12-30T10:53:22.207-08:00

First of all, Merry Christmas to you too, especially MJ, Ellie and Bock who despite my extended absence took the time to wish me well. Knudsen too, who even though his traditional celtic upbringing forbids even the mention of the C word, I know was quietly thinking it as he toasted the winter solstice with his glass of goat blood.Where have I been you may ask? What have I been up to? Who was I

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-25412454371223570252007-11-11T19:11:00.000-08:002007-11-11T20:44:53.558-08:00

This week has been a rough week for me and probably not much fun for our dog either. The week started badly for both of us. We have both suffered, although me more than him. He got sick at the weekend, apparently after eating something that did not agree, and spent the next couple of days in what you can assume was a fair amount of discomfort. It can't have been very nice for the poor animal.

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-27253502333638657112007-10-24T20:02:00.000-07:002007-10-24T20:59:09.984-07:00

Getting back into blogging after taking a bit of a break is like squeezing yourself into a new pair of latex undies, one would think. You have to ease yourself in bit by bit, take it slow, easy does it. On the other hand, a liberal sprinkling of talcum powder doesn't seem to help much and once in, it's hard to get back out.Three poor quality posts this week equals my output for the past three

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-27513148378827525172007-10-23T21:56:00.000-07:002007-10-23T22:24:25.690-07:00

A restless night last night, scared that the Shrek dream would return to haunt me, I spent the night tossing (yes, very funny) and turning. It's strange though that only the bad dreams are really memorable. I can't remember the last good dream that I had beyond the Olympic shitting dream of a week or so ago (still no reply from the IOC by the way).Somebody should invent some kind of dream capture

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-35557602955374957932007-10-22T18:49:00.000-07:002007-10-22T19:17:53.113-07:00

I really don't feel all that comfortable talking about it but need to get it off my chest. It's quite disturbing. I've been thinking about it all day and not in a good way.I mentioned it to Mrs.W when I got home from work. She laughed at first but it seemed like a rather nervous "you scare the shit out me sometimes" type laugh. She has good reason.Another odd dream last night. I've been having a

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-1843620838703199382007-10-14T13:11:00.000-07:002007-10-14T13:44:45.019-07:00

The other night I dreamed that I was an Olympic gold medal winner......in shitting.It was a new competition that was causing quite a stir. Competitors were strapped, pant-less into some kind of bondage harness on the end of a rope swing. On the ground below the swing was a bullseye like target with 3 rings, the outer being worth 50 points, the next worth 100 points, the inner ring was worth 200

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-68915681593459635722007-09-08T11:42:00.000-07:002007-09-08T13:00:30.894-07:00

I'm a bit annoyed this morning, mostly with myself.Last night someone, an Israeli, wanted to make a bet with me that Israel would beat England today. Hesitantly, because England have been a bit shit lately, I agreed and as is the Israeli way we began to talk money. He started off at $1000 and I told him to fuck right off because a) I don't have $1000 and b) even if I did I would not be putting it

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-27635972171618615122007-09-05T20:37:00.000-07:002007-09-05T21:31:12.720-07:00

Fuck!It's been two fuckin' weeks since my last post. What the fuck has happened to me? I was turning out regular posts 3 or 4 months ago. Okay, they weren't much cop but at least I was making the effort. I need to sort my shit out and get back to the matters at hand. The stuff that nobody else seems to concern themselves with, that few are interested in and that make absolutely no fuckin'

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-70411794020304773392007-08-20T20:42:00.000-07:002007-08-20T21:25:59.875-07:00

I have stated before that I find humour in the oddest places. I have to amuse myself occasionally and if this is at the expense of another's misfortune or through some childish, petty act then so be it. I'm not proud of my behaviour, on the contrary I am often ashamed of it. Every now and again though I make sure that someone gets what is coming to them.No matter how insignificant it may seem, I

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-52039176938504445992007-08-15T21:00:00.000-07:002007-08-15T21:33:38.977-07:00

Fuck, it's warm. Toasty. Ball sweatingly, arse drippingly, uncomfortably warm. I would go as far to say that it's rather hot at the moment here in Southern Californ-i-a.Normally, coming from the dark and nasty regions of England, I am appreciative of a nice bit of sunshine but, as always at this time of year, I pine for a nice bit of sleet or the finger numbing cold of an English January morning.

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-594297169074030992007-08-13T20:34:00.000-07:002007-08-13T21:13:12.549-07:00

Knudsen beat me to it, of course, but as there's no sense in going to bed right now (Mrs.W is still awake) I may as well do what I set out to do and give my take on the story of the Irish lad who is currently in a Senegalese jail for showing his arse.What the fuck is wrong with these people? Do they have no sense of humour?There was a time, a number of years ago, when I was a prolific mooner. I

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-15469464283842746242007-08-09T21:11:00.000-07:002007-08-09T21:18:07.424-07:00

Call them what you will Tramps, Bums, Hobo’s, The Homeless, they intrigue me. If I see one of them exhibiting particularly strange behaviour I am fascinated and usually can’t put them out of my mind for at least a day or two until something else catches my eye and my attention. They always leave me with more questions than answers… There used to be this bloke who lived on the corner or

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-59768582569962173092007-08-06T21:47:00.001-07:002007-08-06T22:49:47.147-07:00

When I was a lad, back in the wild North West of England, High School or Secondary School or Comprehensive School was a place where men were fashioned out of mere boys and girls were set up for a lifetime of abuse and disappointment. It was here that you learned how to make a bog roll holder in woodwork class, a keyring in metalwork and under protest, a swiss roll in home economics class. It was

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-20532543878810059962007-08-04T10:53:00.000-07:002007-08-04T11:47:38.250-07:00

There was some kind of poorly thought through protest in Hollywood last night. At about 11:30pm, a couple of hundred nutcases on push irons (that's a bicycle to most of you) blocked the entrance to one of the car parks on Vine St. Their leader then climbed onto the fence (not really a good spot for a 'so called' leader) and began to whip up the mass of spandex into some kind of muted frenzy.It

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-70332905487515110872007-07-30T22:41:00.000-07:002007-07-31T00:04:11.700-07:00

So I get home from work at about 8.45pm tonight, warm up my tea in the microwave and wash it down with a large can of beer. Then I decide to finish off the half bottle of vodka that is in the freezer along the cran-raspberry juice in the fridge. There's fuck all on telly so I decide to watch my favourite evening newscast on Channel 9, KCAL-9 to those of you here in SoCal.I try not to watch TV

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-81470118166403207112007-07-27T16:18:00.000-07:002007-07-27T16:31:15.244-07:00

Amidst the media frenzy surrounding David Beckhams debut for the LA Galaxy and the intense scrutiny of the transfer window, one of the major events of the football year seems to have been overlooked. Today, teams from 48 nations will be arriving in Denmark to participate in the 2007 Homeless World Cup. Held annually for the last 5 years, this year’s tournament promises to be the biggest and

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-18370204481220094422007-07-16T20:59:00.001-07:002007-07-16T22:10:05.912-07:00

SERVANTS TO YOUR KNEES.........ROOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRR"It is hard for me to take any band that looks like this seriously....Swedens FinestJust like Gangsta Rappers, I find both their looks and lyrics, when I can fuckin' understand them, hilarious. It intrigues me, is it just an act? Characters that they play for their public? Or do they really live their lives like this? I know what they want their

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-80666884613521097012007-07-14T12:12:00.000-07:002007-07-14T13:07:46.252-07:00

As you know, part my mission statement here at Leatherette Beanbag is to keep you, my peeps, informed and abreast of the hot issues of the day. I don't always do that, very rarely in fact but now and again news items catch my eye and I think to myself "I just have to do a post on that". Invariably, I forget and due to my international jet set playboy lifestyle don't post anything at all.It's been

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-22697688545773075482007-07-07T19:03:00.000-07:002007-07-07T19:21:51.090-07:00

I swore I would never do this but since Foot Eater and Fat Sparrow both tagged me, and me being a polite, accommodating sort, I feel that to ignore them would be rude.So, against all I stand for, here are eight items of biographical half truths about yours truly:I have a lifetime ban from all Tesco stores worldwide. In an embarrassing case of mistaken identity I stand accused of fondling fruit

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-32270036832584072312007-07-04T12:48:00.000-07:002007-07-04T13:23:35.067-07:00

So as I alluded to in the previous post, I was subjected to some training at work this week. Two whole days to be exact, 8 - 5 both days. What made this worse was that I didn't need the training. I already knew how to use the fuckin' web based tool for analyzing sales and revenues. In fact, I am one of probably about 5 people in the entire company who did know how to use it. I suspect that

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-64220613306119014262007-07-01T18:19:00.000-07:002007-07-01T18:43:12.512-07:00

It's been a bugger of a week and I'm fuckin' tired. In addition to all the usual, everyday drama of life, love, work and the general nitty gritty of my incredibly spicy lifestyle the computer caught a virus on Friday night while I was at work and I although I managed to recover all the files, nudey pictures and secret surveillance dossiers I keep on the neighbours, I am still in the process of

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-67690597157494805212007-06-24T22:24:00.000-07:002007-06-24T22:44:36.141-07:00

Where the fuck would we be without toast?Toast is fuckin' ace and no, I'm not toasted and suffering from the munchies. I just thought that I should take a moment to celebrate toast and all it's toasty goodness.It's one of the most reliable and pleasing foods around if you ask me. Who doesn't like it? What can't you do with it? Cheese on toast, beans on toast, toast with jam on it, bacon on toast,

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-80157811714744168762007-06-21T19:31:00.000-07:002007-06-21T19:52:16.826-07:00

Local man Elbert Dickyleg turns 100 on June 25th. His family in the hope of cashing in on the old geezer, is planning a secret celebration in his honour at the nursing home where he has lived for the past 40 years. Well, it was a secret. Hopefully he won’t be reading this until after the event. His eyesight isn’t so good so maybe if they just hide his glasses until the 26th he will be none the

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-46000853672584071102007-06-18T21:19:00.000-07:002007-06-18T22:13:47.171-07:00

Fashion is a funny thing. What seems super cool and trendy to one person or group is fuckin' maddening to another. I don't really have a problem with most of today's fashions. I'm quite tolerant and respectful of people's right to dress how the hell they want to as I know what it is like to be laughed at in public, pointed at by small children as they tug at their mothers sleeve and say things

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-63747632001976342722007-06-15T13:44:00.001-07:002007-06-15T14:27:00.283-07:00

You could be forgiven for missing it. It is easily overlooked, sandwiched as it is between the heady celebrations of Flag Day and the frenzy of excitement that is Fathers Day here in the World's 2nd greatest country. I almost missed it and if it were not for my boss having to cancel a speaking engagement at some wanky entrepreneurship seminar today because of it, I definitely would not have known

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-91468490603504632902007-06-11T20:34:00.000-07:002007-06-11T21:02:33.288-07:00

We got a new budgie at the weekend. For those of you wondering what the fuck a budgie is (yanks), it's a fuckin' parakeet which will henceforth be referred to as a budgie because that's what it is.Anyway, we did have two. One went tits up a few months ago. That one was called LemonLime because it was green and yellow. The other one, the one still alive, never had a name because the kid could

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-949037094133923442007-06-09T09:50:00.000-07:002007-06-09T10:49:01.073-07:00

I've got a bit of a headache this morning, not had much sleep either so I forgive me if I am a bit cranky and take out my frustrations on some minority group or other as it's more than likely all their fault. Let's see, where is my checklist....? Ah! Here it is:The Welsh - Done & done.The Iranians - Done to death.The Israelis - Not finished with those bastards yet.Scousers - Done.Soft southern

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-73663751954689293032007-06-02T16:58:00.000-07:002007-06-02T17:30:53.659-07:00

I'm usually a few days behind everyone else, except when it comes to fashion and haircuts when what I do today the rest of the world does tomorrow. When I say behind everyone else, I mean in terms of current affairs and events, so forgive me if this is old hat but I just learned that Charles Nelson Riley died the other day.One of those aging luvvies who just delighted in being camp and gay before

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-21300630371093898862007-05-31T21:03:00.000-07:002007-05-31T21:30:33.704-07:00

Like most men, no, like most people, I have the odd filthy habit.Bless me Father........Filthy by whose standards? I hear you ask. Well, usually by the wife's standards. She has her own peccadillo's which may be considered by some to be on the filthy side but, of course, I am tolerant and never say anything. I won't get into them here as I don't believe in airing my dirty laundry in public. Not

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-72839506841244169482007-05-29T21:48:00.000-07:002007-05-29T22:14:37.438-07:00

.... a chance to reciprocate and visit some of your blogs. Apologies to those who I don't get to or comment on regularly. My time is not my own and internet time is especially limited at the moment.Thanks to my regular readers and contributors for sticking with me. I do try and at least read your blogs even if I don't comment, at least once a week.I should not complain, as I choose to live the

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-6057886972608534462007-05-28T19:55:00.000-07:002007-05-28T20:34:01.065-07:00

Aren't goths miserable twats? Sitting around in darkened rooms all day listening to shit that was mildly popular back in '86, reading the Marquis de Sade and watching Lost Boys over and over. Only going out at night, as vampires do, except when they run out of bog roll during the day.I saw a couple of them at the stop light at Hollywood and Vine at 2.45 this morning, driving what might have been

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-40593825139141412322007-05-23T20:21:00.000-07:002007-05-23T20:56:54.280-07:00

Finally.....The news story of my dreams hit the headlines today when an Orangutan escaped from its cage and went on the rampage at a Taiwanese zoo. The beast pushed open its cage door and then got into a nearby restaurant where it terrified diners by overturning tables and motorbikes. Why the fuck there were motorbikes in a restaurant at the zoo I can not imagine, but story said there were so

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-19513397903421177622007-05-21T19:59:00.000-07:002007-05-21T20:54:03.515-07:00

Yes, its that time of year again. The countdown has begun. There is only 44 days until July 4th and in this particular neighbourhood, the festivities have already started. Many of the people around these parts have begun to celebrate their patriotism by driving down to Tijuana and coming home with large supplies of extremely loud (and illegal) fireworks. Once home, these weak willed individuals,

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-37140847247455580582007-05-17T19:52:00.000-07:002007-05-17T20:23:48.023-07:00

Summerrrrtiiiiime and the livin' is easyyyyyy....There is something about this picture that makes me miss my people. When I say "my people" I mean Brits, Northerners, normal folk. The type of people who get my humour. The type of people who take a plate covered in a filthy tea towel to the chippy for their tea. People to whom I don't have to repeat myself 5 times before giving up and rephrasing

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-87869672332994881562007-05-15T19:53:00.000-07:002007-05-15T20:16:00.633-07:00

A milestone was passed in the Waring household today. The child lost her first baby tooth. Luckily, I was at work and didn't have to deal with the frantic screaming and wailing that followed the momentous event. Mrs. Waring did the honours. By the time I got home, things had settled down and the hysteria had been replaced by excitement at the prospect of a visit from the tooth fairy. There was

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-45672649664724126962007-05-14T19:30:00.000-07:002007-05-14T20:05:42.251-07:00

Whilst lunching at my favourite inexpensive Mexican hole the other day (and no, that is not a euphemism for going down on a cheap hooker,) I couldn't help but notice the extraordinary length of time one elderly gent spent in the toilet. It's a small restaurant and only has one toilet that serves both men and women, so if someone goes in there for any length of time, a line will soon form,

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-37921868856095954782007-05-13T09:46:00.000-07:002007-05-13T10:19:53.496-07:00

Mrs. Waring is in a good mood this morning. She has seemed a little tense the last couple of days, as if anticipating something unpleasant. I've been sick, tired and cranky which probably hasn't helped the atmosphere around here but things are on the up. She seems even more relieved than I am that the unthinkable did not happen, as it well might have done, this morning. My beloved Wigan Athletic

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-37949326199648268422007-05-09T19:04:00.000-07:002007-05-09T20:06:26.540-07:00

The Arsonists Anonymous field trip to the zoo ended prematurelyAfter burning over 800 acres of "chaparral", the Griffith Park fire is largely contained. No animals at the LA Zoo were hurt, no structures were damaged and no lives lost. Much of one of LA's areas of natural beauty however is gone, for a year or two until it grows back. The newly renovated Griffith Observatory was untouched and the

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-67332547410285656522007-05-08T19:24:00.000-07:002007-05-08T19:51:47.546-07:00

I'm not good with colours. Neither do I enjoy shopping for throw pillows or skipping through puddles. I don't go in for long walks in the forest with a "young friend."I tried to liven up my blog with a little colour and a fancy font or two but thanks to some kind suggestions and one or two insults, I now know that when it comes to aesthetics I am to say the least, challenged. So it's back to

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-84791953196784093482007-05-06T16:45:00.000-07:002007-05-06T18:04:16.104-07:00

First of all, let me say that I am a dog lover (if that doesn't get me 100 extra hits from Germany, I don't know what will.) The Waring household has a long history of being benevolent towards dogs, we have always had at least one and Mrs. Waring spent many years devoting her life to rescuing stray or abandoned dogs. In the eyes of many dogs, at least, she is a saint. I just tolerated them,

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-67859217249540802432007-05-05T11:22:00.000-07:002007-05-05T11:43:22.846-07:00

Well over at The Infomaniac, dirty old MJ has been soliciting pictures of blokes arses under the thin veil of an online beauty pageant type thing. We all know that is just a red herring and she wants them for her own, shall we say, viewing pleasure. I felt sorry for her though and submitted mine anyway (as did Old Knudsen) and for those of you not lucky enough to have visited MJ's blog, you

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-38802605597702600962007-05-05T10:44:00.000-07:002007-05-05T11:21:30.212-07:00

I awoke this morning with high expectations. I awoke happy and enthused. I didn't feel like waking up early to watch football, instead I slept in until 10am. When I woke, I did the usual ball scratching, toast eating routine and made my way happily to the computer. Today was going to be a good day. Brimming with positive energy I logged on and went to the BBC web site where I scanned the

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-16386853146574318502007-05-03T12:12:00.000-07:002007-05-04T13:29:04.430-07:00

Dentists are getting a bum rap these days. Don't misunderstand me, they deserve it, the sadistic bastards. Not only do they practically have a license to print their own money but mine recently went on a two week vacation, leaving me with a temporary filling where there should have been a crown, then he came back all suntanned and smiling only to inflict upon me 2 hours of misery and a temporary

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-46650334851363693912007-04-29T17:23:00.000-07:002007-04-29T18:17:55.514-07:00

First of all, thanks to those of you who took time to email or post your concern over my lack of posts this last week. Even those of you who disguised your concern as attacks on my personal integrity. Showing compassion can be difficult when mummy and daddy never told you they loved you, so I understand where you where coming from.I needed to spend my 1 to 2 hours a day of time not spent working

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-10927434394594787582007-04-21T12:09:00.000-07:002007-04-21T12:10:51.770-07:00

An Encino Nanny came clean this week and admitted that her claims that some bloke was frequenting a local park and offering nannies money to buy the babies they were caring for, were false. She had lied about it because she didn't want to take the baby for a walk. I suspected that this was the case all along. She went to extraordinary lengths to avoid physical excercise, the lazy cow.It did seem

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-21890281103218127132007-04-18T19:08:00.000-07:002007-04-18T19:31:20.758-07:00

I paid 50 fuckin' dollars for a parking pass for college for the semester. Every fuckin' week I get there at least 45 minutes before class. Every fuckin' week I end up parking illegally because the fuckers sold twice the number of parking passes that they have parking spaces. Last night I left extra early to see if I could get a real space, thus avoiding the possibility of a ticket.I exited the

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-25329446078536283582007-04-15T16:36:00.000-07:002007-04-15T17:11:42.881-07:00

Perhaps unsurprisingly, no one was willing to meet the reserve price on a 1999 VW Golf that once belonged to Pope Benedict that was being sold on eBay. Reportedly, several bids passed the $204,000 mark, but none met the asking price.Would you buy a used car from this man?The metallic gray, pimped out VeeDub was being auctioned off by an online casino company which bought the ride from a German

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-54440185323173102552007-04-14T12:38:00.000-07:002007-04-14T12:50:43.082-07:00

You need some spare cash to rent out the upstairs bar at the club where I work, and plenty of it. $10,000 to be exact. That is how much it costs to rent the place out for a private function such as a birthday party. We get a lot of “industry” parties, (if you don’t know what I mean by “industry” I would like to shake your hand!)We get a lot of plastic people who “host” their show off parties

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-29937157855578995442007-04-10T19:32:00.000-07:002007-04-10T20:38:56.409-07:00

I am, as I type, attempting to drink away the pain and misery of an uncomfortable afternoon spent in the dentists chair. 2 hours of root canal fun. Maybe the chinese food from Panda Express beforehand was a poor choice. Not only did I have to deal with trying to focus on my happy place while the sadistic bastard drilled gleefully away at my poor tooth, but I also had to concentrate on not farting

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-37340608343976328282007-04-09T14:03:00.000-07:002007-04-09T14:21:44.340-07:00

Ok, I know using a funny search term as the basis of a post is the easy way out, but the door is open and I'm going through it.I'm both saddened and ashamed to say that this particular Google search was initiated by someone in Britain. If, by chance, you are that someone and you just happened to return and are reading this, (because surely my blog will now be the #1 search result for this term

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-21043549025275745512007-04-07T04:19:00.000-07:002007-04-07T04:44:49.272-07:00

Jimmy hats fo' yo' hangdown.I am a big believer in keeping it real, that is why I am proud to be associated with this weeks sponsor, Black Power Condoms. I don't use them myself, I don't see it as the man's responsibility to protect himself (or his bitch) against the HIV or the clap. That kind of thing is best left to your ho. If she don't want to get pregnant, then she should be the one

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-70460804937532872432007-04-05T20:05:00.000-07:002007-04-05T21:06:34.022-07:00

A free donut?First off, let me point out that it is barely 20:30 (military time) on a Thursday evening. Tomorrow, morning I need to be wide awake and in the shower by 05:30 (also military time). I am already 2/3 the way through my second bottle of wine and things are getting a bit jibbery wongery, so excuse any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes. Not that I give fuck anyway.I tend to stay

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-76544376954754573772007-04-04T19:04:00.000-07:002007-04-04T19:07:42.846-07:00

I haven’t posted since Saturday. This is not good. I have wanted to post, had ideas to post but just never got around to doing it. It’s already Wednesday and I am wondering where the week is going to.It isn’t just posting that is suffering, I don’t seem to be getting much accomplished at work either. Paperwork is piling up on my desk to the point where it usually gets knocked accidentally into

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-38387704121682870182007-03-31T10:06:00.000-07:002007-03-31T15:48:37.215-07:00

For the past three months I have been under the tutelage of a remarkable human being. I have made many a recent reference to how my life has changed over these past 90 days and I have decided that it is time to give credit where credit is due. My transformation from work shy ne’er-do-well to the hardworking, industrious model of mediocrity that you know and lust after is down to the wisdom and

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-27338284736153166652007-03-28T20:02:00.000-07:002007-03-28T20:48:17.223-07:00

Whilst thumbing (yes, thumbing) through one of the wife's ladies magazines looking for slightly erotic underwear advertisements. I found an article on these fine specimens:"Look wot we 'ave 'ere ladies! Let's pull his pants down an' see wot 'e's got fer us"I give you 'The Chubsters'. A gang of London 'girls' who are " a bunch of fat freaks who don't do as we're told." Or so claims "The Beefer",

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-70777352638417509492007-03-27T19:55:00.000-07:002007-03-27T20:49:12.971-07:00

I got home from work and put on the news. I am trying to avoid the news. Too much negativity and sensationalism for my liking these days. I prefer to read about it on my own schedule instead. That way I can pick and choose what I read, like things about Jamaicans who live in household appliances, electric wheelchair fires and dangerous toy recall's. I try to avoid the grim reality of the bullshit

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-67146129003779663672007-03-26T20:01:00.000-07:002007-03-26T20:58:29.185-07:00

One of these Wednesdays I will remember to buy a ticket and when I do, it will without doubt be a winner.The first thing I am going to do is buy an antique Louis XV chaise lounge which I may consider having reupholstered in blue leatherette to match my beanbag. I don't think I ever told you it was blue did I?Second, I will hire a dozen large breasted beauties who I will pay to feed me chips

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-35988347423009277162007-03-25T22:07:00.000-07:002007-03-25T22:41:43.836-07:00

Finally, a chance to relax with a good bottle of wine (by good, I mean $3.15 good) and a frozen pizza - "It's not delivery! It's disgusting!" A chance to contemplate my life, to weigh up the pro's and con's of it all. An opportunity to think. Quality time, "me" time. Time to ponder the kind of things best not pondered. You get the picture.....I have come to the conclusion that Iranians are twats.

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-61356883336411665272007-03-24T09:56:00.000-07:002007-03-24T11:01:29.989-07:00

I don't think about dying much. Not that it scares me or that I am in denial about it. We all go sometime. I just prefer not to dwell on it and generally accept that sooner or later we all have to go.There are, however, certain scenarios which I would, if at all possible like to avoid. I don't want to burn, I don't want to drown and when it happens I would like it to happen quickly. It would be

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-71578654069575047072007-03-23T17:16:00.000-07:002007-03-23T17:35:51.227-07:00

This week has gone pretty fuckin' quickly for me my friends. In fact, I don't know where it has gone to. Last time I checked it was Monday. Only 3 posts, including this one from me this week. A tie for my lowest output since I started blogging. I'm gonna beat Knudsen to the punch by saying that all 3 were shite an' all.Be patient with me people. I am adjusting to a new schedule and will get back

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-35614282610342907582007-03-23T16:45:00.000-07:002007-03-23T17:15:36.011-07:00

One of my least favourite responsibilities at work is firing people. I can do it and I do it well but I rarely feel great about it.Even with people who deserve to be fired, for whatever reason, I have moments where I feel sorry, not so much for them but for their wives and kids. Putting these feelings to the back of my mind and focusing on the task at hand is the hard part, unless they are being

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-76855479876999661432007-03-19T19:56:00.000-07:002007-03-19T20:19:05.664-07:00

Change in urinationVomitingDiarreahDepressionListlessnessLoss of appetiteWith the exception of loss of appetite, I have been suffering from all of the above at various times over the past several days. It can mean only one thing, acute renal failure.Let's just suppose that if I had eaten some tainted pet food, and I'm not saying that I did, but let's just suppose that if I had become senselessly

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-21146714327334287412007-03-17T13:26:00.000-07:002007-03-17T14:17:24.671-07:00

I'm not exactly over sensitive when it comes to handling rejection. I don't really mind. Every "no" moves you one step closer to a "yes", right? At least that's what I believe. You can't go through life giving up, you won't ever get anywhere. Christopher Reeve never gave up on his dream to walk again and look what happened to him.Okay, that's a bad example 'cause he died before he made it didn't

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-6430015070922871992007-03-15T18:33:00.000-07:002007-03-15T18:46:49.865-07:00

The lad over at troubled diva has been working his bollocks off for the past few days putting together a collection of humourous blog posts by Brit bloggers to sell for Comic Relief.You can buy the book for only £8.96 of which £3.63 will go to Comic Relief. You can buy your copy at www.shaggyblogstories.co.uk.I didn't make it in, neither did the fuckin' hi-larious Old Knudsen but congratulations

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-74142280823483813202007-03-14T18:28:00.000-07:002007-03-14T22:26:04.087-07:00

Whats the worst place you have ever lived? When I first landed here in the US and A, Mrs.Waring and I lived in an apartment in the Westlake district of Los Angeles. Just outside Downtown, it's a rough, largely hispanic, gang infested area. There were not many white folks around. It wasn't that bad, I actually liked living there. We had a top floor corner apartment, with a great view of the

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-40206840513234133402007-03-11T18:09:00.000-07:002007-03-11T19:26:50.974-07:00

I just read a short piece in the LA times by Steve Lopez who is moaning about the price of a hotdog at Downtown LA's new Trifecta Sports Bar. I agree that $15 for a fuckin' hotdog is a bit steep, but they aren't catering to the 4am Pink's crowd or your average Wienerchnitzel punter such as I. Their location is a stones throw from the city's financial district and the type of customer they are

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-44018072777411698692007-03-10T14:24:00.000-08:002007-03-10T14:37:05.156-08:00

I got a nice email from Lambent yesterday who said:“You’re a fucking cunt and I’m going to kill you with a fucking spoon.”Thanks mate, that’s my weekend fucked. I have a deep rooted fear of spoons. I flinch whenever one is brandished or pointed in my general direction. I cannot use one, not even a spork. I have had to invent an alternative spoon like utensil for the purposes of spooning, which

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-85422964713975379332007-03-08T18:49:00.000-08:002007-03-08T18:55:11.149-08:00

I saw that the brown cloak worn by Alec Guinness as Obi Wank-Enobi in Star Wars just sold at auction in London for $104,000. It was bought by an anonymous telephone bidder, as were many other items of clothing worn at one time by celebrities in various movie roles. A tuxedo, worn by James Bond, a dress, worn by Madonna in Evita, and some other less memorable items all sold for ridiculous amounts

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-47353268488289573782007-03-05T21:40:00.000-08:002007-03-05T22:31:23.873-08:00

I am not one of those people who takes up a disabled parking space, thus denying a less fortunate citizen their right to park near the front doors at the supermarket or the post office. Here in California, the $500 fine is more than a deterrant. It just isn't worth it. I would rather watch a seemingly healthy person climb down from their H2 Hummer and make their way effortlessly up the steps at

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-57912066860874821162007-03-02T21:45:00.000-08:002007-03-02T22:07:18.023-08:00

A worthless felt-tip drawing done by a 6 year old girl and stolen from the wall of her Kindergarten classroom 2 years ago has been found in Steven Spielbergs private art collection the FBI announced today. The drawing, 'Plumber Stuck Under The House' was taken during the lunch break at St.Ronaldinho's Elementary School in 2005. The Oscar winning director and star of 'Dude, Where's My Car?'

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-79127899751277738202007-03-02T21:01:00.000-08:002007-03-02T21:18:51.218-08:00

Basant - Festival of death.....by kite.For a so called man of the world, I know very little of what goes on in Pakistan. I know that there is probably more misery than I care to contemplate. I also know that my ISP, along with many other major companies, moved its Customer Service department to someplace that might be in Pakistan despite every representative claiming to have an English name like

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-83047812275276947812007-02-28T19:01:00.000-08:002007-02-28T20:45:41.685-08:00

When I was a lad, there was dog shit everywhere. You couldn't have a kick about in the street without kicking a greasy dog slug. I remember having to climb a fence to get our ball back and as I jumped down off the other side, I landed on a skittery turd and slipped, landing in 2 or 3 more when I hit the ground. It was all over my clothes, in my hair and on my hands. The other kids laughed at me

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-4931721058903339082007-02-27T23:45:00.000-08:002007-02-27T23:55:58.324-08:00

The only things that come out of Texas are Steers and Queers. Or something like that. I can’t be arsed researching the quote or even who said it. I’m fuckin tired and my brain isn’t working well right now, so I’m going with that.Anyway, whoever said it was only partially right. The state also turns out it’s fair share of idiots and there has also been a rise in the number of rabid skunks in

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-77368256576227339512007-02-27T23:13:00.000-08:002007-02-27T23:19:42.441-08:00

You’re Shit Aaaaahhhhhh!!!The Clericus Cup kicked off amid a frenzy of muted excitement in Italy on Saturday. For those of you unfamiliar with the tournament, it is played in the Vatican City between 16 teams from Catholic institutes in Rome. 311 “athletes”, from countries such as Italy, USA, Mexico, Papua New Guinea, and bizarrely enough, Rwanda, will compete in the tournament.Scenes from the

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7916354523593604020.post-43423535557132782592007-02-24T23:57:00.000-08:002007-02-25T00:47:12.200-08:00

I love Top Tips. The kind that lonely old housewives send in to the newspaper or Readers Digest. Money saving, time tested and downright bizarre ideas to use the unusable or left over household items that would otherwise be chucked out. Viz used to publish some funny fake ones, they probably still do, but there is no substitute for the real thing.Way back in the 40's or 50's, when money was tight

Eddie Waringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01950124311643686424noreply@blogger.com10