Big Leg Syndrome
I've been noticing more and more people of late, sitting on bus benches sporting one leg bigger than the other. Not in the longer sense of the word, but thicker, fatter, almost 2 or 3 times the size of the normal leg. Usually they are all purple and blotchy with lots of weeping sores and filthy bandages that won't stay where they are put and I have to say I'm fascinated.
I'm not sure if there has been an outbreak of elephantitis or if it is just some strange set of coincidences but I must have seen at least 10 so far this year. Unfortunately, I never have my camera handy and the cheap fuckers I work for will only give me a free cellphone without a camera, so I have been unable to gather any evidence to present to you.
I have yet to actually see one of these people actually get on or off a bus which suggests that they may just be resting for a bit (it can't be easy dragging that big leg around all day) or they are possibly waiting for a special bus to come and pick them up and take them to some location or other where they can mingle and swap stories of their misfortune with fellow owners of one big leg.
Naturally these people are not exactly up on fashion. You would hate to ruin a nice pair of Diesel or FCUK jeans by having to cut one leg open at the seam so they tend to wear filthy grey marl sweatpants with one leg cut off, this probably helps to avoid chafing and irritation. They also don't seem to spend much money on footwear, usually wearing just one shoe on the good foot and a flip flop on it's big balloon like opposite.
I just don't get it. I haven't seen anyone with one big arm waiting for a bus, or stood in line at the post office behind a bloke with one big hand. So why all these people with one big leg. Something is up for sure.
On a similar note, Mrs. Waring just informed me that as she and the younger Waring were watching the Westminster Dog Show on telly, there was some bit about therapy dogs. They showed some poor kid with one finger sticking out of his elbow, no forearm and no hand, just an elbow finger. Young Waring tried to convince the wife that the kid was just hiding his arm in his jumper. She is learning fast that child is.
I'm not sure if there has been an outbreak of elephantitis or if it is just some strange set of coincidences but I must have seen at least 10 so far this year. Unfortunately, I never have my camera handy and the cheap fuckers I work for will only give me a free cellphone without a camera, so I have been unable to gather any evidence to present to you.
I have yet to actually see one of these people actually get on or off a bus which suggests that they may just be resting for a bit (it can't be easy dragging that big leg around all day) or they are possibly waiting for a special bus to come and pick them up and take them to some location or other where they can mingle and swap stories of their misfortune with fellow owners of one big leg.
Naturally these people are not exactly up on fashion. You would hate to ruin a nice pair of Diesel or FCUK jeans by having to cut one leg open at the seam so they tend to wear filthy grey marl sweatpants with one leg cut off, this probably helps to avoid chafing and irritation. They also don't seem to spend much money on footwear, usually wearing just one shoe on the good foot and a flip flop on it's big balloon like opposite.
I just don't get it. I haven't seen anyone with one big arm waiting for a bus, or stood in line at the post office behind a bloke with one big hand. So why all these people with one big leg. Something is up for sure.
On a similar note, Mrs. Waring just informed me that as she and the younger Waring were watching the Westminster Dog Show on telly, there was some bit about therapy dogs. They showed some poor kid with one finger sticking out of his elbow, no forearm and no hand, just an elbow finger. Young Waring tried to convince the wife that the kid was just hiding his arm in his jumper. She is learning fast that child is.
