You Are My Sunshine

Mrs. Waring is in a good mood this morning. She has seemed a little tense the last couple of days, as if anticipating something unpleasant. I've been sick, tired and cranky which probably hasn't helped the atmosphere around here but things are on the up. She seems even more relieved than I am that the unthinkable did not happen, as it well might have done, this morning. My beloved Wigan Athletic avoided relegation from the Premiership, instead sending Sheffield Utd down by beating them 2-1.
She has good cause, I would have been impossible to live with for the foreseeable future had they lost. Ideally, West Fucking Ham would have been beaten by Man Utd and they would have gone down instead. Justice was not however fully served and the Blades were the unlucky ones. Too bad for them. West Fucking Ham will get what they deserve eventually.

On a less important note, today is of course Mothers Day. The one day of the year when wife beaters, misogynists and miserable husbands everywhere buy some cheap chocolates and a card that says "I may be an unloving cunt but I am obligated to buy a card that says I do in fact love you and am grateful for all the chips you make me(expires at midnight)." It's also the day when kids present their mum's with the card made with macaroni glued in the shape of a heart that they spent all day making in school last week and have been trying to hide ever since. It's sooooo cute!

Mrs.W seems content with her chocolates and cards and has gone back to bed, the excitement having tired her out.......did I mention that Wigan won?

Bollocks!!

I awoke this morning with high expectations. I awoke happy and enthused. I didn't feel like waking up early to watch football, instead I slept in until 10am. When I woke, I did the usual ball scratching, toast eating routine and made my way happily to the computer. Today was going to be a good day. Brimming with positive energy I logged on and went to the BBC web site where I scanned the headlines. "Holiday girl abducted but alive," not very nice but good news in a way I suppose. " Plane crashes in Cameroon," slightly less of a feel good factor about that one. In sport, "Man Utd on brink of winning title," at least it isn't Chelsea. "West fuckingHam 3 Bolton 1," fuck. This is bad news. Fuck West fucking Ham and fuck Sam Allardyce, this would not have happened had he not resigned last week. If you think I'm upset because Notlob lost, you are wrong. I couldn't give a flying fuck about them. Nervously I clicked on Sport, then Football, then Premiership with eyes closed. I opened one eye:

15	Fulham	37	-20	39
16	Sheff Utd	36	-19	38
17	West Fucking Ham	37	-25	38
18	Wigan	37	-23	35
19	Charlton	36	-24	33
20	Watford	37	-30	27

Fuck, fuck fuckity fuck! The cunts! How the fuck has this happened? Only one game left and its a must win if my beloved Wigan are to avoid the drop. West fucking Ham deserve to go down, not Wigan. No one, except West fucking Ham want Wigan to go down. Bollocks! Fuck! Shit!

I'm sorry to subject you to my woe, I generally don't post about football but I can't talk to the wife about it, she is under the impression that it's "just a game" and American friends just smile politely and nod without a fucking clue what I'm talking about.

West fucking Ham should have been docked 10 points for those dodgy transfer deals and should be going down instead along with Watford, who I wanted to do well but didn't and Charlton who can fuck off 'cause they have been asking for it for years. Fair enough Wigan haven't had a great season, but have had some bad luck, a lot of bad luck and lost a lot of games from winning positions but at least they are entertaining.

There is still a chance, one game left and West Fucking Ham play Man Utd away. A definate spanking as it's the last game of the season and Utd will want to win the prem in style in front of their fans. Wigan travel to Sheffield where they have to win, if they do, goal difference should see them through and justice done.

Bollocks!