Yawn....

I've got a bit of a headache this morning, not had much sleep either so I forgive me if I am a bit cranky and take out my frustrations on some minority group or other as it's more than likely all their fault. Let's see, where is my checklist....? Ah! Here it is:

• The Welsh - Done & done.
• The Iranians - Done to death.
• The Israelis - Not finished with those bastards yet.
• Scousers - Done.
• Soft southern shites (possibly including Brummies) - Will never be done with them.
• Canadians - Not worthy of my time.
• The Gays - Perfect.....

I'm not a fan of reality TV at all, not unless by 'reality' you mean the news and the reality being covered just happens to be the death of George Bush or Paris Hilton, now that's what I call good television. So, I don't watch the likes of Big Brother or America's Top Model. Recently there seems to have emerged a trend of using the reality show to cast the leading role in some musical or other like Grease or The Sound of Music and is if they were not bad enough, the BBC has been turning this shite out for the last few weeks:

Like a trip to Disneyland for Graham Norton

It is called "Any Dream Will Do" and having never seen the show, I can't comment on the quality other than to say it has to be utter shite and possibly one of the gayest things I have ever seen and I have seen things which would have made Freddie Mercury blush. If there are any bum pirates reading this, don't worry lads. I'm a lover not a hater, well okay, maybe not a lover in your case but definitely not a hater. Let's say I am a tolerater shall we? Yes.

The premise of the show is to cast the lead role in a new production of Joseph And His Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat with Graham in the role of an even gayer Ryan Seacrest and Webber playing the part of an "out" Simon Cowell. I can think of few things I would rather do less than spend an evening watching this. According to the BBC website, only 100 boys made it to the London callbacks of which 50 were chosen to enter 'Joseph School' were they were taught singing, dancing, mincing around and who knows what else by 'celebrity mentors' such as the not at all gay Jason Donovan.

I'm not much of Bible reader, but I'm pretty sure that is says something in there about God not caring for the gays, right after the bit about how he loves lezzies and threesome's are okay as long as the lads' balls don't touch (if they touch it becomes a sin). Anyway, I suppose what I am saying is that I don't really hold with all that nonsense but having chosen not to be gay it is rather confusing to me why anyone would choose to BE gay, but it's your life I suppose so go for it.

Anyway, back to the show..... It could just be me but doesn't it seem like the point of this show is really not to cast a Joseph but to cast new boyfriends for Graham Norton and Andrew Lloyd Webber but definitely not Jason Donovan?

And have you seen Andrew Lloyd Webber lately?

The only man who looks WORSE than
his Spitting Image puppet....