Tales of nonsense and items of little interest, sometimes true, always poorly thought through. Less sophisticated than most newspapers and magazines.

Saturday, December 23, 2006


This one is hard to take. Almost as hard as the first game of last season when Wigan matched Chelsea every second of the game only to be beaten by an incredible 93rd minute goal by Hernan Crespo. I admit that I cried. Today I'm not upset, I'm just angry.

After going 2 down in the first 30 minutes it was looking like another good hiding for us. Lampard had scored a soft goal from a great pass by Robben, and Kalou got the 2nd becoming the latest name in a lengthy list of players to score against Wigan having never scored before, at least not in the Premiership. Wigan looked edgy and scared and I honestly expected a drubbing. Heskey came to the rescue right on half time heading home his 4th of the season and when they came out for the 2nd half, Wigan were up for it. It's fair to say that they dominated Chelsea for much of the 2nd period and were more creative and confident going forward, putting pressure on the Chelsea backs for long periods of time. When Chelsea did break out of their own half De Zeeuw, Boyce, Hall and Baines stood strong and cut off the attack quickly. It was a physical game and Chelsea didn't like it, I was starting to believe that a draw was on the cards.

Heskey put the 2nd away and it looked offside, but the flag stayed down and it was allowed (finally we get a break!). Now Chelsea were really rattled and if anything Wigan could have, and should have scored again but just couldn't make it happen. A draw in this game would without doubt have been their best result since being promoted. As soon as the assistant ref showed the board for 4 minutes extra time, a part of me knew that we were fucked. Mourinho had put on Shevchenko and Mikel and was going to go all out for the winner. Wigan put extra pressure on themselves by giving away corners and were starting to look nervous again. Then it came, once again in the 3rd minute of extra time. Baines was stranded on the left and Robben dipped inside and fired home the winner. These injury time goals are beginning to get a bit tiresome, we really need to focus and close out these kind of games. Coming from 2-0 behind against Chelsea is no mean feat and if Mourinho doesn't admit that Wigan deserved at least a point, he can kiss my arse.

I'm sure that all we will hear and read about is Chelsea's character and resolve, there may be the odd report about Wigan's spirit and how far they have come in such a short space of time etc. But if they had got the result they deserved and had worked so hard for I think we would have been reading about how this game may have just helped take the Premiership to Old Trafford.

Big Day in the Prem

Today marks the first Saturday this season that all 20 Premier League teams are playing. Usually they are split over Saturday, Sunday & Monday but because of the packed holiday fixture list, today they all play. Some good games on the cards as well, Villa vs Man Utd starts in about 2 minutes so I am off to watch that on Setanta. More importantly, Wigan vs Chelsea is the late game being shown on FSC. It doesn't look good on paper for the latics. Camara is out injured and McCullough got banned for 3 games so it looks like Todorov might get a start. Hopefully he will find his touch and make his loan spell worthwhile. I think Antonio Valencia is still hurt and Paul Scharner is out too. This may not be easy to watch. You never know though, we don't lose too many games on the bounce and this, should we lose would be the third straight loss. We still haven't beaten one of the top 4 sides, so today could be our day.......please??? We have Man Utd on Boxing Day, away, before playing Watford and Blackburn next week. 6 points from the 12 on offer would be acceptable, anything more would be tremendous.

Friday, December 22, 2006


WTF is the sauce that Jollibee put on their burgers? It tastes like a fishy, fruity fake mayo substitute and it's feckin horrid. I took the kid to the mall (after saying yesterday that I was done with mall's) to have her picture taken with Santa. Santa had gone for a shit and a smoke on his break so I took her to Jollibee for a snack to kill time and because she was complaining about being hungry. I think Jollibee is a Philipino chain, I should Google it, the one in Eagle Rock is the only one I know of, not that I have been looking for others. The food on the menu looked dodgy, they sell burger patties on rice covered in some vaguely mushroom looking sauce, so I thought I would play it safe and just order a cheeseburger. Anyway, she got less than 1/2 way through the burger before announcing that it tasted "icky" so I finished it off. I really cannot describe it any better than I already did and to say that it was very unpleasant. I looked around the restaraunt to see if I could spot a look of disgust on the faces of the any of our fellow diners, but they all seemed quite content to be eating greasy drumsticks of "Chicken Joy" and the patties in the suspect sauce. I'm fairly adventurous when it comes to food, I especially like spicy foods and asian, indian and middle eastern foods and it takes a lot to disgust me although the Jollibee sauce asked questions about my tolerance for philipino food. I won't be going back......ever.

When we left, Santa had returned and was trying to quiet some screaming mexican kid while the father(Dodgers tattoo on each side of his shaven head) looked on menacingly, fighting the urge to kick the big guys ass for making his hijo cry. Finally it was our turn, shelled out $20 for 4 badly lit 3x5's and made hurriedly for the exit and relative sanity of the parking lot ignoring the obnoxious cell phone sales"man" and the pushy armenian girl selling portraits as we left.

The kid was happy though, she got to sit in Santa's lap and tell him all the things she wants for xmas and as I think back, for those few moments as I watched her smiling and awkardly hugging Santa, it seemed as if all the noise and movement around me in the mall stopped and time stood still. Every now and again I look at her and can't take my eyes of her, my beautiful little girl. When she is happy I am happy, when I am happy she is happy. Love your kids people.


The missus has been moaning about her car for weeks, possibly even months and what did I do about it? Fuck all, nothing.... as usual. So of course, following the rule of if it's gonna take a dump, it's gonna do it at the worst possible time, the fucker crapped out on us today, 2 days before xmas. Now I don't know, I prefer to think along the lines of "it would've happened anyway" as that makes me feel less responsible, but deep down I know I probably could've avoided it had I done the decent thing and taken it in to get looked at, but I didn't and so here we are. We get both cars serviced every 3,000 miles and still shit goes wrong with them. My Grandad always told me "cars are reet buggers lad, tha'll ne'er be rich wi' a car." He wasn't wrong. The bastard just won't turn over. Thinking the battery was fucked I headed out and dropped $70 on a new one but no joy. So now I have the prospect of an unpleasant repair bill looming large, not good timing at all. I'm hoping its something simple like an ignition switch or starter motor and not in need of a costly electrical overhaul. It can stay at work until Tuesday and I'll get it towed to my mechanic, who the wife hates incidentally. I'll deal with it then.

Thursday, December 21, 2006


Officialy finished the xmas shopping(I think..) and it's a good feeling. Now all we have to worry about is cleaning the goddam house and buying some food and booze. It's times like these that I question why we live in such a big city with so many other people. I wonder what it would like be like living in a medium sized town where you aren't competing with millions of other people for parking spaces, where you can drive around safely and not have to deal with arseholes cutting you off on the roads because they couldn't wait in the turn lane like everyone else. I suppose it's all relative to the size of the town and the problems in smaller places seem just as big as they do here in LA. Anyway, I'm done, don't have to go to the mall again.....thank fuck!

Last night I went bowling with a few of the lads from work, I had organized it originally as a a get together for just my group, but then the other managers decided they would take their teams along too, which was fine as everyone who showed up had a great time and it was a lot of fun. We hit the bar afterwards where some really over the top gay guy decided to latch on to the group and would not go away. At first I was worried that some of the guys, after a few drinks, might be less tolerant of his dancing and mincing around than your average punter, but everyone behaved themselves and laughed and joked and even danced with him. Basically we were taking the piss, but he loved the attention and would not go away. It was almost at the end of the night when I heard him say to J "Come with me into the parking lot and I'll show you where my ass hole is..." I thought that a little too forward and fearing a backlash, stepped in and pulled him to one side politely telling him that comments like that were unwise in such drunken heterosexual company. He got all offended and denied saying it and started to get all dramatic, upset that he would be accused of saying such a terrible thing in his own neighborhood. He definately said that though, I heard him clearly and so did J as he had pulled a knife from his pocket momentarily but put it away again when I shook my head and motioned "no". This lad was really outrageous, I mean not just gay but a screaming queen, and kept referring to himself as a faggot and flirting like crazy with practically every guy there who would look at him, so why he got all uppity when I called him on this, I don't know. Maybe he was ashamed, although having witnessed his wild dancing earlier, I doubt it. Maybe he was scared because he thought he was gonna get leathered, which would have been a real possibility had there been the usual collection of ex gang bangers and criminals present. In any case, I was just trying to do him a favour by letting him know where the boundaries where. You just can't help some people....

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Recurring Dreams

I have never really experienced extended spells where I wake up in a morning and can remember what I dreamt about that night until recently. I started on anti depressants (for a number of reasons) and I'm thinking they must be the reason. Not that it bothers me, I like being able to remember dreams, I seldom have dreams that are bad although the one common theme in my recurring dreams is rats, which I don't particularly care for. The rat dreams used to occur after I had taken E, but as I haven't done that for several years, it can't have been the E alone that was causing them. Now they are back, so the increased levels of serotonin is perhaps the culprit. They aren't too disturbing, it's not that I wake up in a cold sweat or screaming for mercy or anything like that. I'd just rather be dreaming about porn stars or, in case she's reading this, the wife..... I'm joking, of course.....about the porn stars. Last nights dream was probably more unpleasant than the rat dream. I needed surgery, for what I cannot remember, but it required the insertion of a catheter. Catheter's are my 3rd biggest fear. Any kind of surgery is high on the list, but surgery which requires me pissing through a tube into a clear plastic bag for inspection is probably not pleasant and just the thought of it makes my arse wink.

Alright, I admit it. I'm a pussy when it comes to things like that. I don't mind going to the doctors, I'm getting better at the dentist but surgery is not something I intend to willingly participate in. If it's a matter of life and death, life will probably just about win, but I will not be happy about it. The top 5 is:

  1. Burning to death
  2. Surgery
  3. Surgery involving a catheter
  4. Rats
  5. Bee stings (never had one, not sure what to expect)

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Almost there....

I finally got the feckin' xmas tree this morning, took the kid with me so she could choose and she did her dad proud by picking one that only cost $60 when I was planning on spending $80+. It's sitting in the living room, yet to be decorated, a job usually handled by the wife while I get drunk and watch. So at the least the house smells like christmas now. It's not helping much though as we are both struggling to get into holiday mood and it's only a week away. The tree dressing may be postponed until tomorrow at this rate.
I put the outside lights up, did a shitty half arsed job, my speciality in the area of DIY and decorating. I wish for my kid's sake that I was more creative or interested in the art of xmas lighting, but I'm not, so it will have to do. Luckily, a 5 year old is fairly easy to impress which suits my fairly low standards just fine. In any case, I put up all the lights we had, having to replace more than 20 bulbs and rendering a couple of strands useless in the process. We may need to buy some new ones next year.
Yesterday was the company party, every year we put something together for the employees and their families. The last 2 years we have done something at the office, had a santa show up and give gifts to the kids. Last year was something of a disaster though, the dickhead we had paid to organize everything fucked it up royally and ended up buying $5 pizzas from Little Caesars....very festive. So this year we held it at Dave & Busters, giving out game cards to each family and goodie bags for the kids, no Santa but I don't think he was missed. The food was cack, it was a "brunch buffet" and probably cost less than $500 of the $3500 we paid them. The kids had a good time though and it seemed like most of the guys hit the bar to celebrate the season thereby designating the wives/girlfriends (currently out shopping in the mall while the guy "watched the kids") as the driver home. So a good time was had by all, at least until the wives returned.
In addition to the family party, we have organized a thinly veiled piss up on Wednesday night for the guys, to be known for the purposes of expenses as a "team building exercise" under the guise of our "1st Annual 10 Pin Bowling Tournament." It should be a spectacle.
Right then, off to Trader Joe's for some wine and a nice piece of cheese.