A Toast to.....Toast

Where the fuck would we be without toast?

Toast is fuckin' ace and no, I'm not toasted and suffering from the munchies. I just thought that I should take a moment to celebrate toast and all it's toasty goodness.

It's one of the most reliable and pleasing foods around if you ask me. Who doesn't like it? What can't you do with it? Cheese on toast, beans on toast, toast with jam on it, bacon on toast, the list is endless. There is no shortage of things that you can do with toast, and like the potato, it's pretty much universal.

Toast is always a welcome treat. Just hearing the word toast makes me feel all warm and funny inside. So does the word "pie". There is never a time when I can't handle a piece of toast. Even in the midst of the worst hangover imaginable you can still manage some toast if nothing else. If you have depressed or suicidal tendencies, just have some toast and it will cheer you right up.

If I wasn't already married, I would marry a piece of toast. For our honeymoon we would go to Barbados where I would eat the toast and report it missing to the the authorities. After a couple of years we could assume the toast is gone for ever and I would remarry, this time to a muffin, although I would be thinking about toast when we did it and would probably cheat on the muffin with all kinds of toast. Wheat, white, sourdough I love them all.

What the fuck am I doing......