A Toast to.....Toast
Where the fuck would we be without toast?
Toast is fuckin' ace and no, I'm not toasted and suffering from the munchies. I just thought that I should take a moment to celebrate toast and all it's toasty goodness.
It's one of the most reliable and pleasing foods around if you ask me. Who doesn't like it? What can't you do with it? Cheese on toast, beans on toast, toast with jam on it, bacon on toast, the list is endless. There is no shortage of things that you can do with toast, and like the potato, it's pretty much universal.
Toast is always a welcome treat. Just hearing the word toast makes me feel all warm and funny inside. So does the word "pie". There is never a time when I can't handle a piece of toast. Even in the midst of the worst hangover imaginable you can still manage some toast if nothing else. If you have depressed or suicidal tendencies, just have some toast and it will cheer you right up.
If I wasn't already married, I would marry a piece of toast. For our honeymoon we would go to Barbados where I would eat the toast and report it missing to the the authorities. After a couple of years we could assume the toast is gone for ever and I would remarry, this time to a muffin, although I would be thinking about toast when we did it and would probably cheat on the muffin with all kinds of toast. Wheat, white, sourdough I love them all.
What the fuck am I doing......
20 comments:
You are high. Pass that bong already.
You will be happy to hear that last night I had toast for dinner, and today I had it for lunch and dinner. It was sourdough, for grilled chicken sandwiches.
Mmmmmm... Toast!
Thick sliced granary, smothered in butter, with a little morello cherry conserve. Yum!
MMMMMMMMMMM clearly a case of toast n crack.
So you got an anonymous widgetmate? I had an android called Andrew.
Cheese and onion toasted sandwich. Nothing finer.
Cinnamon toast sings to my soul.
You might consider some professional help this week though.
Oh, and is this sourdough some sort of yank creation? What would you call it in English? Please pardon my ignorance.
French toast with lots of cinnamon and brown sugar! Mmmmm
Go on lad slap yer butter all over it.
Sparrow - I have told you before. Leave the Spouse Sparrow and run away with me, I will feed you bits of toast with the crusts cut off. He isn't right for you anyway.
ID - It has to be thick sliced. Whenever I am home I spoil myself with a loaf of Warburtons Toaster. I do like Granary though.
Anonymous - You are a twat. This blog is my fuckin' escape from the news. I have no use for such a widget. Kindly fuck off.
Manuel - Toast and crack. Possibly the only thing more addictive than toast alone.
Milky - I agree. The cheese has to be moderately strong in flavour. There is a store over here that sells English cheddar with caramelized onions in it. Ideal for toast. Of course, it doesn't do you any good.
FH - Cinnamon toast is exceptional. Due to a restraining order and a case of mistaken identity, my professional helper has been taken away and I have to find a replacement. Toast will have to do for now.
Milky - It is a yank thing and I don't believe it has an English equivalent. It tastes a bit stale and as the name implies a bit sour. Much more enjoyable toasted or as Sparrow commented for grilled chicken sandwiches. It holds together better than most other breads. Very popular in San Francisco but then again so is homosexuality. Hopefully it isn't some ingredient in the sourdough that is to blame.
Ellie - Many people over here now refer to it as Freedom Toast to signal their displeasure with the French for refusal to participate in the war. Muffin's however are still referred to as English Muffins. God forbid we should anger them enough to strip us of that particular honour.
Knudsen - Sadly, yank butter is of a vastly inferior quality to that sold in the UK. Not nearly yellow enough or salty enough. It is merely ersatz. Luckily, I know where I can buy Kerrygold, although it comes at such a price I keep it in a locked butter dish hidden behind the bag of wilted brown lettuce in the salad crisper drawer of the fridge. The wife, being a yank and the kid being half a yank are not worthy of real buttered toast. They invented "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" and must pay for their crimes.
What about toasted brown bread, then? Have you ever eaten brown bread, toasted or untoasted?
My daughter's friend, Chopper, is famous for this pearl:
"Toast! So simple, yet so delicious!"
"Sparrow - I have told you before. Leave the Spouse Sparrow and run away with me, I will feed you bits of toast with the crusts cut off. He isn't right for you anyway."
You have found out that the way to my heart is through my stomach. Obviously you are the right man for me.
I only allow myself one husband per decade though, so sadly you will have to wait until 2010.
I want to tell the world- I have caught gheyness. I noticed first thing this morning; I had finished my morning strain in the little room, and I thought to myself, 'What you need Knudsen, is a back sack and crack.' So who wants to help me be ghey?
No soft poofters mind. If I am to ghey I want some big fella with a bit of girth on him.
*shakes head sadly*
A semi-colon? Punctuation? Spelling? Must be the fake Knudsen. There can be only one, you know.
i had something all ready to go then i caught sight of the new Knudie, all punctuated and freshly pooped and i just completely lost my train of thought.
toast? done on the grill over an open fire camping, next to the bacon and eggs. HEAVEN.
I prefer fried bread,, with eggs, beans, tomatoes etc...
GB - Indeed I have and I must say it is my preference. Over here they refer to it as wheat bread. I assume they do not find the word "brown" appetizing enough.
Bock - A modern day philosopher she has there.
Sparrow - I can wait 'til then but 2011 is out of the question.
Fake Knudsens - If you were going to imitate someone why would you choose him?
Sparrow - There can be only one, you know.
I believe that it was decreed so by the UN security council. Any more than one Knudsen would be a threat to world security.
FN - Campfire toast is great if you don't mind shitting in a hole in the ground afterwards.
Mutley - You sir have just described the perfect meal. England won the world cup after such a breakfast. Fried bread is frowned upon by todays health conscious society and that's the reason why we never win anything anymore.
Waring, it's been a week. Do you live?
Everyone on Coronation Street is always going about their business eating toast. So I've always assumed toast is a Brit thing since everything I know about Brits is through watching Corrie.
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