Tales of nonsense and items of little interest, sometimes true, always poorly thought through. Less sophisticated than most newspapers and magazines.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Bad Planning

There was some kind of poorly thought through protest in Hollywood last night. At about 11:30pm, a couple of hundred nutcases on push irons (that's a bicycle to most of you) blocked the entrance to one of the car parks on Vine St. Their leader then climbed onto the fence (not really a good spot for a 'so called' leader) and began to whip up the mass of spandex into some kind of muted frenzy.

It was hard to hear what he or she was ranting about over the laughter from the crowd of people waiting to get into the club, the organizers had obviously not considered bringing a megaphone. It sounded something like "....try to keep us down.....won't stop pedaling.....free puncture repair kits.....happy meals....." After 5 minutes they left, some of them yelling "The power is between your legs!" as they rode away into the night or at least to the stop light at Hollywood Blvd. A fairly deep statement, true in many ways, however I'm thinking they were referring to their bikes and not their dicks or vajayjays. Their Choppers not their choppers. Hopefully I won't have to explain that last line to TOO many people.....

Who they thought they were going to convert to their cause at that time of night I don't know. They did succeed in irritating a few people who were trying to enter/exit the parking lot, probably not gaining much sympathy from them in the process. They certainly raised a few eyebrows. It's not often you see such a sight on a Friday night in this neck of the woods.

What made their protest even less effective was the lack of signs or placards. If you are going to have good protest you need some snappy placards like 'No More Protests!', 'Votes for Vegetables!!', 'Impeach Dumbledore!!!' or '¡Viva Salchichas!'. Certainly it is hard to carry a sign on a stick whilst riding a bike at the same time (not very aerodynamic unless turned sideways). Likewise, duct taping one to the bike is probably not practical and may even be a safety hazard, obstructing the view of the cyclist and distracting other road users, so T-shirts or even a song would have been the way to go in this case.

So I have to know. What the fuck were all these people doing last night? Suggestions are welcome but hopefully someone who was present, maybe the guy who had wrapped his bike in yellow faux fur, will do a Google search to try and find press coverage of the event (there is none), find this instead and be compelled to tell the tale.

12 comments:

Old Knudsen said...

So many bike rallies fucking tree huggers, you need to call in the national guard like at Kent state, of course all the guard are off in Iraq which is why these cunts can get away with such things.

Hippies and bikes don't mix. Hippies and rubber bullets do.

Bouncing rubber bullets off the ground is for the weak, aim at the heads.

Old Knudsen said...

I was bitten by a hippy on a bike when I was a child, I've hated them ever since.

Eddie Waring said...

Knudsen - Hopefully you had a tetanus shot and was checked for rabies. Notorious carriers of the disease are hippies. Fuckin' soap dodgers. Maybe the hippies should get sent to Iraq and the National Guard brought home. That way the hippies get their "Bring 'Em back" wish and they can spread peace, love and harmonicas to the Iraqi people. Their 'no soap, no deodorant' lifestyle is certainly more suited to society over there.

Fat Sparrow said...

Think I found your guy.... Check out here and here. He hasn't posted since early July, and there's no e-mail addy to contact him, otherwise I would, as I'm curious.

Eddie Waring said...

FS - I'm posting a comment to see if he replies.....Nice work young lady! Together we will get to the bottom of this.

The Mistress said...

Explain choppers.

fofufou said...

Were they protesting at this years doping scandal that rocked the Tour de France?

Manuel said...

Down with that sort of thing

The Mistress said...

I see you've made it to Knudsen Nation.

There must be some mistake.

FirstNations said...

bicyclists
PISS
ME
OFF.

bicyclists with dopeyass bikes piss me off EVEN WORSE.

die bicyclists die

Fat Sparrow said...

"Nice work young lady!"

Why thank you! I am the Google queen. It's kind of like the Borg Queen, but less attractive.

Eddie Waring said...

MJ - I knew it would be you. A Chopper is both a bicycle made by Raleigh and a man's hangdown. Google it you lazy cow.

Milky - Outside a night club? Hardly winning any friends there mate.

Manuel - That is the ideal placard. You should also handcuff yourself to some railings.

MJ - Did I? I shall go and check before posting my next post. I'm soooooo excited......!

FN - They are 'cyclists' not bicyclists'. And I was once an avid one until I found that heavy drinking and same do not mix well.

Sparrow - Beauty is in the eye of the beholder....

 
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