Tales of nonsense and items of little interest, sometimes true, always poorly thought through. Less sophisticated than most newspapers and magazines.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Pass The AstroGlide

You can call me a nasty old spunker, you can call me a disgrace to my fellow man, you can even call me desperate but I am going to speak my mind and I don’t care what you say…. I would shag Joan Rivers rotten. Yeah, that’s what I said…Mark the date and time, Sunday July 26th, 2009 at 4.30pm. Eddie Waring stated that he would fuck Joan Rivers.

Now I anticipate a fair amount of disgust and outrage at this revelation but all I say is this, at least I am honest. I would wager that there are more than a few men reading this who would agree. They just won’t say it, probably because they have some sense of shame and a modicum of dignity. I, on the other hand, have little of either.


Come on, admit it, Joan doesn’t look half bad for her age. Yeah, I know that is down to countless plastic surgeries and no doubt she sold her soul to the devil. But you have to admit that she is in pretty good shape for a woman of 76. Especially when you compare her to other women of her age….



No Competition...


You can’t help but be intrigued by her. If they have managed to make her face stay young looking then what else has she had done? How do her tit’s look? Has she had a cunt lift as a well as a face lift? Has she had her labia stretched and the wrinkles taken out? There is only one way to find out and that is to take a deep breath, throw on a welders mask and get on in there.


Granted, she doesn’t look as good as she used to but after having so much work done, it’s bound to take it’s toll and after all, how many us can honestly claim to look better than we did 50 years ago?

6 comments:

MJ said...

Waring, you're a nasty old spunker.

MJ said...

In addition, you are a disgrace to your fellow man.

Fat Sparrow said...

I believe Danny Elfman (while in Oingo Boingo) said it best: "I love you, you sick fuck!" I'll leave it to you to get stuck into her with that welder's mask, but I'd also recommend a full bio suit and please decontam after before you come round to my gaff to comment.

I'm sending you an e-mail, so I hope that your Gmail account listed on here is still good...

Old Knudsen said...

I look better than you did 50 years ago.
When they are over a wheelie in a dark alley and yer drunk all weemen are young and hot.

Roses said...

You know what, if you are into Grab-a-Grannie, best of luck to you.

I personally don't think she's that hot, but perhaps it's because I'm more into Joan Collins.

Eddie Waring said...

MJ - You are a cynical bitch.

Sparrow - The Gmail account has not yet been shut down by the authorities. I think I hit reply...

Knudsen - When you are in a dark alley and drunk all wheelie bins are hot.

Roses - Hello. Joan Collins eh? I would pay to see her an Joan Rivers wrestle naked in a jelly filled kiddie pool. And since I know what you are thinking....blackcurrant.