Chewbacca Hits Rock Bottom
Filthy AnimalCop's arrested a Chewbacca impersonator on Hollywood Blvd yesterday for allegedly head butting a tour guide who intervened when Chewbacca started harrassing a couple of Japanese tourists who refused to pay him for having a picture taken. This is fuckin gold.
The tour guide asked Chewbacca not to touch the tourists and Chewie got angry. "You could see in his eyes he was exploding beneath the mask," Sapir said Friday. "He yelled at me, 'Nobody tells this wookiee what to do!' "Classic!!
Hollywood Blvd, specifically the bit outside the Chinese Theatre, is the haunt of a large number of celebrity impersonators who literally beg for money from tourists. These guys are always going on about how they are serious actors and street entertainers when really they are filthy unwashed pan handlers. Their costumes look like shit and they just get in peoples way in what is already a busy area of the Boulevard.
Apparently Chewbacca has been involved in skirmishes before, Captain Jack Sparrow is quoted as saying "..he got into a fight with a music vendor. They knocked over a baby stroller." Darth Vader also confirmed that Chewbacca was a troublemaker saying that he often had run in's with other "performers".
Last year, Freddy Krueger was arrested for allegedly stabbing a man and two years ago, Mr.Incredible, Elmo the Muppet and the guy from Scream were arrested for agressive begging.
When contacted, a spokesperson for Lucasfilm said, "The street performer doesn't have any affiliation with Lucasfilm. Nevertheless, we are disappointed that someone dressed as Chewbacca would behave in this way."
Chewie was released on $20,000 bail and will appear in court later this month. I am keeping my fingers crossed that he shows up in costume.
6 comments:
Well that about does it for my crush on Chewie! I just can't abide a wookiee with a chip on his shoulder.
It isn't a costume. He's the real Chewie, fallen on hard times.
What he needs is somebody like Rocky to take him in hand and get him back on track.
I feel sorry for him. Is there no repatriation programme for aliens, like we have for Eastern Europeans and Nigerians? I think that's a disgrace.
Fresh Hell - The idea of conjugal visits with Chewbacca isn't floating your boat?
Bock - We could shave him down a bit and send him WITH the Eastern European lot. They are usually very hairy, especially the women. He would fit right in.
Well, I don't know what sort of East European women you get out there in the States, but the ones that arrive here are sex-on-a-stick. I never understood why the fuck we'd be deporting them.
Personally, I have two prostituti latvayaskaiska who do my ironing and tidy around the house. Sometimes, of an evening, I permit them to perform sexual favours for me out of gratitude.
A girl must have standards!
Bock - It is a ruse. That's how they get you. They look like princesses now but imagine them with a uni brow, a ciggie hanging out the corner of her mouth, all dressed in black and holding three hairy kids. That's what's in store.
Fresh Hell - You are entitled. Even I have standards, admittedly not very high ones but standards nonetheless.
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