Tales of nonsense and items of little interest, sometimes true, always poorly thought through. Less sophisticated than most newspapers and magazines.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

M Twee V Cribs

Whats the worst place you have ever lived? When I first landed here in the US and A, Mrs.Waring and I lived in an apartment in the Westlake district of Los Angeles. Just outside Downtown, it's a rough, largely hispanic, gang infested area. There were not many white folks around. It wasn't that bad, I actually liked living there. We had a top floor corner apartment, with a great view of the downtown skyline from one side and a view over Hollywood from the other. The rent was cheap, but there were lots of insects and a rather unpleasant smell most of the time. The neighbors were odd to say the least, freakish is more like it and it was noisy, very fuckin noisy. Things could have been worse. We could have been living in a discarded kitchen appliance like Noel Currie of St.Ann, Jamaica who has lived in a 12 cubic foot refrigerator for the last 5 years.

Sadly, a few weeks ago, someone set fire to his fridge, leaving him exposed to the elements. "It was a man who helped me to do some work who gave me the fridge and I took it here to sleep because I had nowhere else to go," Currie told the Sunday Observer under a tree in Mile End, St Ann.


"When the rain a fall me will get wet"

59 year old Currie claims that the fridge was set on fire by some neighbourhood boys while he was at the doctors, and although he admitted that the fridge wasn't very comfortable, it was better than sleeping in the open air.

Currie, who used to make a small amount of money by running errands for the locals, is unable to work at the moment. "I used to work all over, and I'm willing to work to do just about anything, although me foot sick now," he said, pointing to a wound on the sole of his right foot.

"I just want someone good who I can work with because I used to wash cars, do farming, just about any little thing because I am a hard worker," he said. "It's just that I can't get anything to do to help myself."

The locals, who have known him for years, say that he isn't mentally ill, he was just dealt a shitty hand. One resident who asked to be named only as 'Miss Jill', said that when Currie first returned to the community after having gone to live with his father in Kingston as a child, he was neatly groomed and smartly dressed. But the years of living under the tree and sleeping in the refrigerator at nights have taken a toll on him.

The residents say they remember that Currie used to live in an old house in the community, but when the owners returned to take possession of their property he had to leave.He said it was at this time that he got the refrigerator, which he moved to one end of a flat piece of land which was later developed into a cricket and football field. One resident explained that when Currie took sick recently and left for the hospital, persons who wanted to further develop the field were only too quick to set fire to the refrigerator, thinking he was not going to return.



"Irie Mon! Me am got no arms!"

In the meantime, 'Miss Jill' is hoping that Currie can get some assistance from the state, as, she said, he has suffered long enough. "People always promised to help him but is always only a promise," she said, adding that he can no longer work to support himself."You should see how him bend up in pain and was crying the other day when his stomach tek him," she told the Sunday Observer. "I just had to boil a lot of tea and give him until they took him to the doctor."
Currie showed this reporter the medication prescribed by the doctor. They are to be taken after meals. Unfortunately, he did not have enough food to take them. In fact, the only food in sight at his makeshift home was a pot containing boiled bananas, remnants of his breakfast.The residents say they want to see him get a roof over his head, now that the refrigerator is gone. They remember that during Hurricane Ivan in 2004, Currie spent the time locked away in the refrigerator under the tree.
"He loves to work and is not afraid to work, but he just needs somewhere to live," said one resident who gave her name only as Marvet.
Another resident, who wanted to be identified only as Joy, echoed Marvet's appeal. "He really needs some help, and I hope that someone out there will help him," she said.

Two things struck me about this poor bastard. One, look at him smiling in that second picture. Two, in the first picture, he is wearing odd sandals even though he has a pair of blue ones.

It's not what happens to you, it's how you handle it. Like locking yourself in a fridge during a hurricane.



EDIT: Just want to thank 'Kate', whoever you are for nominating the Brando post at Post of the Week. I had never heard of it before, but thanks for the recognition!!

16 comments:

The Mistress said...

I've been planning to post about my worst apartments but they pale in comparison to the fridge.

But since you asked...

The only window was painted black. Drunks from the tavern next door pissed against it at night and woke me up.

I usually had to find someone to help me physically move the drunks who would be passed out in my doorway, blocking my entrance when I came home at night.

The floors were concrete.

I'll shut up now. 'Cause it was still a few steps up from a fridge.

HKMGB said...

In don't know why I think this, but I reckon that guy really smells.

Eddie Waring said...

MJ - That sounds like a pretty shitty place you had there mate. Did you have a fridge that you could have moved into?

Lambent - I don't know what the homeless problem is like in HK. Here in LA we have many. The combined smell on Skid Row on a warm day defies description. Somebody should drop them a hint or something....

The Mistress said...

Don't get me started on the appliances in that place! I got an electric shock off the fridge/stove/sink combo. Yes, you heard me right.

Eddie Waring said...

That is a novel invention combining the power of electricity with the super conductivity of water. Was it made in Britain by any chance?

HKMGB said...

Post of the Week doesn't exist mate. It's just a set up to keep people like you chained to your computer and away from society.

Keep writing mate, yer doing well.

Old Knudsen said...

That cunt had it made, I lived in a toaster oven during the bombing of Dresden, of course I was in Scotland at the time, post of the week? I'm nearly on 500 posts who knows how many times I've won it and didn't know, ah well no time or awards theres blogging to be done.

Momentary Madness said...

Bad news breaking in 18A
Missy's kitty turn inside out she say
Spider queen demon and that whole crew
Across the lobby the wicker wing chair flew
All the nice people those goodly souls
Quaking in their respective hidey holes
Everyone's wasted in this gruesome dream
Not a one of them left to hear you scream
Madame Erzulie she come last night
Bang you silly but leave a nasty bite
There on your nightstand much worse than that
Panatella and old black derby hat
Call your doctor - call your shrink
Western science she strictly rinkydink
They all masissi but we hang tough
Apsatively gonna help you beat that stuff
T-Bone Angie she champion liar
Sew the mouth shut with rusty chicken wire
Brother Lou Garue and the Jerry Garry
Sprinkling chicken water gonna hush all three
Beautiful housewife in deep distress
'Specially you deserve the very best
Two against nature they got that stuff
Good things happening when you see about us
Two against nature don't you know
Who's gonna drop the boom on things to go
Two against nature make them groan
Gonna go bang-zoom to the moon on things unknown
Scrape the wallboards the whole damn batch
Catch the maggoty eggs before they hatch
Pepper and ratbone make damn sure
Shake the rubbish out on the patio floor
Soak the timber with special spray
Nuke the itty bitty ones right where they lay
Whip the bastards while they still green
Take the firemop - sweep it kissing clean Paddy: 'what can you say'

Foot Eater said...

he was just dealt a shitty hand

Reminds me of those card games I used to play with my faecally incontinent grandpappy.

Anonymous said...

I once lived in a colostomy bag for a few weeks- quite smelly!

Bock the Robber said...

I lived in the East end of London.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Do you ever read Points West by Steve Lopez in the LA Times, Eddie? He has an occasional series on downtown LA's homeless which is about the saddest catalogue of wretched tales in the land. This guy in your post needs some luck in the worst way.

People say you can measure a country's level of civilisation by looking at how it treats its poorest and most needy. We're not really living in a proper civilisation if it allows stories like this man's to happen.

The city of Santa Monica is the most generous district in the country when it comes to helping the homeless but even there there's a backlash because so many homeless people moved in that all the homeful residents have a hard time coping with that. But still, Santa Monica's trying. It's not succeeding in getting services and housing to the homeless the way it needs to, but still, it's trying which is worth something.

Hollywood's a freaking mess with homeless.

Eddie Waring said...

Lambent - Cheers.

Knudsen - It's actually called "The Soren Knudsen Post of the Week" in yer honour.

Paddy - Been at the pills again mate?

Foot Eater - I can picture the fingernails....

Mutley - At least it would be warm....for a bit.

Bock - I would rather be in Mutley's position.

Sam - I would tell a story about the homeless guy in a wheelchair I saw on the corner of Hollywood and Vine last Sunday morning at 7am, but it's depressing. I worked downtown for 2 years, not in an office but out on the streets. I could tell many many true tales of this city's failure to provide even basic care for it's homeless. I have seen and smelled it all. I read Steve Lopez now and again but it's tame compared to the stories that are published in the LA Weekly. There is a severe problem in this town. There is talk of spending 120 billion dollars on an Olympic bid, lets just make it 119 and use the spare billion towards fixing Skid Row eh?
Still....you have to laugh dontcha?

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

I don't get the LA Weekly, m'afraid: to far north. I've read that homeless people being released from hospital are actually dropped off on Skid Row without the numbers of any services being provided or anything.

It must have been distressing to see all that despair on a daily basis, Eddie. LA is a joke, a horribly unfunny joke.

Anonymous said...

Just noticed your comment !
(Just want to thank 'Kate', whoever you are.)I enjoy your humour, not to everyones taste.. but what the Hell! it makes for laughing out loud.
Kate

Eddie Waring said...

Kate - I know, definately not to everyones taste. I used to worry about offending people and I was depressed. Now I don't, at least not on here, and I'm not depressed anymore.
The things I write are nonsense, stupid shit, made up, not real. But, you already know that and get the joke. Some don't. They can click "next blog".

Thanks for the kind words!

EW