Pig Snouts! Get 'Em While They're Hot!

I just read a short piece in the LA times by Steve Lopez who is moaning about the price of a hotdog at Downtown LA's new Trifecta Sports Bar. I agree that $15 for a fuckin' hotdog is a bit steep, but they aren't catering to the 4am Pink's crowd or your average Wienerchnitzel punter such as I. Their location is a stones throw from the city's financial district and the type of customer they are trying to attract are more than overjoyed to pay $15 for a hotdog that has been specially 'imported' from Chicago, just so they can tell their snooty fuckin friends about it down at the raquet club. You definately will not catch me in there, or at the raquet club for that matter, since I violated their strict 'no urinating on the courts policy' my name is mud down there.

Now I consider myself no fool. I suspect I know full well what goes into hotdogs, but as they taste so good washed down with several imported non-american beers, I allow my hedonistic urges to make the call over common sense on this one and eat the fuckers anyway. Shit, I even like the canned ones you get in the UK. When you get in at 3am totally wankered you will eat practically anything that will go between two slices of bread, it's amazing how good cold Princes canned hotdogs taste at that time in the morning.

One of the major manufacturers of hotdogs here in Southern California is LA's own Farmer John. They have had the contract with the LA Dodgers for many, many years and produce the succulent foot long treats that are 'Dodger Dogs'. Baseball is a guilty pleasure of mine and I like going to games, eating Dodger Dogs and drinking (overpriced) beer. Anyway, Farmer John don't just make hotdogs, they have a wide range of delectable pork products and lard, one of which is Liverwurst, a pate like substance shaped into a sausage German stylee and one which I developed something of a taste for last year.

As I said, I'm no fool. I know all about the alleged unethical treatment of animals in the manufacture of such stuff. I know that the ingredients used to make such things are not choice cuts of prime pork loin. Liverwurst, as the name implies has nasty things in it but even I admit to almost dropping my liverwurst on toast one morning as I read the label. The three main ingredients were:

1. Pork - Makes sense
2. Pork Liver - Okay, liver goes in Liverwurst.
3. Pork Snouts - What the fuck?

Pork Snouts? Fuckin' dogs eat pork snouts! Okay, maybe some of our South and Central American friends enjoy them too, but fuckin' pork snouts? I was mildly shocked and almost didn't finish my toast as I contemplated where the line should be drawn. I mean, what parts of a pig can be classified as simply pork and what parts need further clarification? Should such products be subject to some kind of warning on the label? Pictures of pigs sniffing each others arses or foraging in their own shit for rotten carrots and onions thrown in by the farmer? I'm pretty sure the industry would resist legislation, much like the tobacco industry doesn't want pictures of still born babies on their product, as it puts off the occasional would be buyer.

Where the fuck am I going with this? I'm half pished now and things are getting a bit jibbery wongery.

Okay, yeah, so it's a matter of choice innit? If you don't like paying $15 for a hotdog, don't. Go to Wienerschnitzel and pay $2. It's all the same stuff with a few different spices and a bit more or less salt and pepper thrown in, and if you want a delicious hotdog without pork by products, try Hebrew's Best, made for our Jewish cousins and supervised by a Rabbi they are almost guaranteed to have no pig snouts.