Random Shite

This week has gone pretty fuckin' quickly for me my friends. In fact, I don't know where it has gone to. Last time I checked it was Monday. Only 3 posts, including this one from me this week. A tie for my lowest output since I started blogging. I'm gonna beat Knudsen to the punch by saying that all 3 were shite an' all.

Be patient with me people. I am adjusting to a new schedule and will get back to regular blogging ways shortly. I have been busy preparing some data on US science and technology statistics for Ronco. The audio book will be available on iTunes just in time for Easter. To whet your appetites, here is a snippet of what I have been up to.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Kentucky is ranked 47th among US States in its per capita number of working scientists and engineers. It fares even worse, 49th, in the number of science and engineering degrees conferred by its universities. This suggests that things are not going to get much better anytime soon.

Interviewed by The Kentucky Post, Fort Thomas Schools Superintendent Larry Stinson didn’t really do much for his State’s image when he stated the fuckin’ obvious by saying “I think the issue here is, we’re getting to be so much more of a technology society, and that’s what makes math and science more important.” Really Larry? How very fuckin’ insightful of you!. The genius went on to say that “math hasn’t changed much, but science has….So many other work areas, the hands-on labor of manufacturing have shifted more to technology.” The residents of Fort Thomas may want to read the ballot more carefully next election day.

I think I have the answer to Kentucky’s poor showing in the fields of science and engineering. Legalize crystal meth and moonshine.

Under my plan, mobile meth labs could be bought from licensed dealers

There has to be literally thousands of experts in the construction and engineering of stills and meth labs living in that state. Add to that the number of “scientists” involved in the production of crank and trampagne and Kentucky should rocket up the charts.

Universities could offer degree courses in cooking up whizz and the distillation of hillbilly pop. This would no doubt elevate the State’s standing.

The State also ranks 45th in the number of patents issued. Imagine the potential if patents could be issued for brand names such as Ol’ Elmers’ Ruckus Juice, Pop Watkins’ Alley Bourbon, or Skeeter’s Red Label Catdaddy. Not to mention the jobs that could be created in the manufacture of machinery like Doc Chickenchasers Patented Steam Powered Friday Night Liquor Still.

"The Masher" can produce 3 jugs of Polish Joe's Bile Stimulating Tonic a day.

It was the entrepreneurial spirit of one Colonel Sanders who decided to use not just 6, but 7 herbs and spices in his fried chicken recipe that put Kentucky on the map. It’s up to the State legislature to legalize dangerous drugs and alcohol in order to keep it there.