Ello John! Got A New Motor?
Would you buy a used car from this man?
The metallic gray, pimped out VeeDub was being auctioned off by an online casino company which bought the ride from a German bloke in 2005. Apparently they posted Kraut registration docs that proved the car was previously owned by Josef Kardinel Ratzinger, or Joey Rats as he is known in Vatican circles.
Rollin' on 22's, pumpin new shit by NWA, sippin' on gin n juice.
The reason the car didn't sell? Who gives a fuck! All I know is that if it was his predecessors Austin Maxi that was up for auction it would raise millions. Can you imagine the credibility you would have pulling up to the Catholic Womens League jumble sale in that? A real gash magnet for sure. You would have your pick of the Ladies Crown Green Bowling team. They would be lining up to ride in a car once owned by a real, genuine almost-a- saint. Imagine the thrill of turning the dashboard jesus to the windscreen and getting a hummer in JP the II's backseat.
You would get your money back in no time at all. Once you inform the papers of the image of Jesus in the grain of the walnut dashboard you could name your price for "miracle rides" exploiting the weak and terminally ill. The elderly and infirm? A trip to ASDA should do the trick, that way you could have them carry your shopping for you as well.
To their credit, the casino company said that they were going to give 40% of the proceeds to (an unamed) charity.
10 comments:
why bother? i assume all the pope-flakes have long since been vacuumed out of the carpet. licking the steering wheel would'nt get you anywhere either, unless the car happened to be in gear at the time.
Buy it now if you have the bread for gods sake eddie, and stop telling everybody.
I would never buy a car from someone that refused to wear a condom, how often did he get it serviced? the car that is.
Fenians like weemen cannot be trusted to keep cars well, no offense meant of course, like a mong that can't stop themselves from licking windows, just impossible.
Mr Waring, you can forget your fortnight in purgatory: you're going straight to hell. I hope for your sake the Calor gas runs out before that happens.
I have the offer of a pogo stick once owned by Billy Graham. Anyone know what premium is reasonable?
One of the funniest jokes I ever heard was about the Popemobile. I laughed for fucking days, I'm not kidding.
You've gotta hear it.
"The reason the car didn't sell?"
Bloodstains from the heretics Ratzo had tortured in it, I'll bet.
First Nations, maybe he left a holy aura. Or maybe it was the pine-tree air-freshener on the rear-view mirror. Of course, he could have blessed that too. I would expect a Pope-blessed car to be extremely reliable with minimal maintenance. 'Cos God probably has some good mechanics on a retainer for the blessed-on-Earth's fleet.
If its like the place he came from its pretty unremarkable.
FN - I read that if you send in the barcodes from 5 boxes of Pope Flakes you get a coupon good for one free sin.
Paddy - I don't even have enough bread to buy a loaf right now.
Knudsen - According to the seller, he only went to the shops and back in it once a week. Same pair of tyres since new.
DCW - Don't worry about me. Fresh Hell is saving me a seat. Hell would be a bugger if you had to stand up for all eternity.
Troika - Once again, you leave me hanging....
FS - I think it was the musty smell due to water getting in through a hole in the sills and causing damp carpet under the drivers seat.
Sam - God has no love for the automobile. I have prayed to him several times fix the transmission on Mrs. Warings Gremlin. The fucker appears to have only made things worse because now it won't go into reverse.
Mutley - You lost me mate. Are you sure you replied to the correct post? Or am I missing something?
Mr Waring, Mutley means Bridport. He always does.
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