Tales of nonsense and items of little interest, sometimes true, always poorly thought through. Less sophisticated than most newspapers and magazines.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Miserable Twats

Aren't goths miserable twats? Sitting around in darkened rooms all day listening to shit that was mildly popular back in '86, reading the Marquis de Sade and watching Lost Boys over and over. Only going out at night, as vampires do, except when they run out of bog roll during the day.

I saw a couple of them at the stop light at Hollywood and Vine at 2.45 this morning, driving what might have been a 72 Subaru Justy, in full vampire make up, no doubt on their way home from a shite goth/industrial night at some shithole club or other. Neither looked like they had enjoyed a particularly good night out and neither seemed to be enjoying each others company. But I guess thats just how it is when you are one of the undead. I just don't get it. Enough shit is likely to happen each day that will challenge even the most positive of individuals. Why go about dressed to invite negativity? As they drove away, I noticed a sticker on the back window that said "Vampires Do It All Night", I'm assuming they mean stay up.

There were a group of them in the club a few weeks back, all dressed like Byron and wearing fake vampire teeth, doing what looked like a slow tango to rather uplifting house music. I'm not even sure what sex they were. They just did not look happy and kept baring their teeth at me. To say they seemed out of place would be an understatement.

Let's Pretend We're Dead....

You see some weird shit on the streets of Hollywood, even during daylight hours. The woman on the corner of Santa Monica and Highland begging for money so that she could buy new batteries for her vibrator for example. But at night, things definitely take a turn for the bizarre. The man in the gas mask, a lad in full red indian costume thumbing a lift, and somebody threw a can can of Mountain Dew at me from a moving truck and called me a black bastard.....

These things are what makes my life interesting, at least to me.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

If I hadn't been ripped to the tits and speeding I woulda hit you with that can, and all...
Just watch yerself, you big black bastard...

Fat Sparrow said...

"I noticed a sticker on the back window that said "Vampires Do It All Night", I'm assuming they mean stay up."

They're obviously not Anne Rice vampires. Rice-verse vampires can't have sex.

An oh, the stories I could tell you of the sad posers who tried to get me to join in with them over the years.... I may have to blog about it one day.

Erm, hopefully that wasn't an open can of Moutain Dew?

ellie said...

Don't knock it Eddie, I got the money for the batteries and a full can of Mountain Dew and just as I was about to leave I found a full set of vampire teeth, should be handy at Halloween

The Mistress said...

Ellie: Get offa my corner, bitch.

savannah said...

just the mention of hollywood brings out the best in people, donchaknow, sugar ;)

damn, last time i was in la the closest i got to hollywood was amoeba records...

Fresh Hell said...

"I noticed a sticker on the back window that said "Vampires Do It All Night", I'm assuming they mean stay up."

I have a bumper sticker that says "Geologists know what makes the bedrock".

Awwwwwwyeaaaahh...

Old Knudsen said...

Maybe they mistook you as being from the black country or maybe it was aimed at the nubian mattress monster you were propositioning for sex.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Black lipstick will never solve how utterly boring some of these people are underneath the drag.

ellie said...

MJ: I have been on this corner since jesus was a wee lad. Find another pitch my need for batteries is greater!

The Mistress said...

ELLIE: I’ll just plug in my industrial strength concrete vibrator then, shall I?

Eddie Waring said...

Twindowlicker - Don't you have laundry to do or something? Those stains won't scrub themselves out y'know. And for fucks sake, stay off the liquor...

FS - You hit the nail square on the top part. Posers. Thats what they are.

Ellie & MJ - I suggest you both fight about it, using your vibrators as weapons. Knudsen and I shall be the judges.

Savannah - Amoeba Records is a fine establishment although a bit overwhelming. One hell of a Polka section....

FH - Ooooh you are saucy. I have a t-shirt that says "My dad can beat up your wife". The vicar at the kids baptism was not amused.

Knudsen - maybe it was aimed at the nubian mattress monster you were propositioning for sex.

That is a slanderous suggestion Sir. I only proposition decent white street urchins for sexual gratification.

Sam - I knew a lad whose nickname was Goth, yet he wasn't one, at least not when I knew him. He was very boring though and he had a big nose. Never liked him just because he insisted on everyone calling him Goth, so much so that I don't even know his real name.

Ellie & MJ - How about that fight then?

ellie said...

MJ, does that baby come with the hard hat and ear muffs? I'm so fecking jealous now. Back on the street today with a new sign . .

"Earthquake Victim" and in very small letters beneath "hopefully"

savannah said...

mj & ellie! omg!omg! omg! are ya'll serious??? sounds delish

Troika said...

I used to go out with a goth, many, many dark years ago.

I can tell you that not only are they fucking miserable, they also have really smelly chuffs.

Anonymous said...

miserable bastards, the last refuge of the hopeless.

Anonymous said...

hmm..last refuge of the hopeless, more like ugly!!!

Anonymous said...

What the hell are these two muppets dressed as????