Tales of nonsense and items of little interest, sometimes true, always poorly thought through. Less sophisticated than most newspapers and magazines.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

You Are My Sunshine

Mrs. Waring is in a good mood this morning. She has seemed a little tense the last couple of days, as if anticipating something unpleasant. I've been sick, tired and cranky which probably hasn't helped the atmosphere around here but things are on the up. She seems even more relieved than I am that the unthinkable did not happen, as it well might have done, this morning. My beloved Wigan Athletic avoided relegation from the Premiership, instead sending Sheffield Utd down by beating them 2-1.
She has good cause, I would have been impossible to live with for the foreseeable future had they lost. Ideally, West Fucking Ham would have been beaten by Man Utd and they would have gone down instead. Justice was not however fully served and the Blades were the unlucky ones. Too bad for them. West Fucking Ham will get what they deserve eventually.

On a less important note, today is of course Mothers Day. The one day of the year when wife beaters, misogynists and miserable husbands everywhere buy some cheap chocolates and a card that says "I may be an unloving cunt but I am obligated to buy a card that says I do in fact love you and am grateful for all the chips you make me(expires at midnight)." It's also the day when kids present their mum's with the card made with macaroni glued in the shape of a heart that they spent all day making in school last week and have been trying to hide ever since. It's sooooo cute!

Mrs.W seems content with her chocolates and cards and has gone back to bed, the excitement having tired her out.......did I mention that Wigan won?

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you Mr. W, you really must actually love me after all. *grin*

ellie said...

I read the name of the person above as "widow licker" and thought it was someone with passion for performing cunnilingus on bereaved women. Round here nothing would surprise me!
Mrs W deserves a nice treat once in a while, it can't be easy for her.

Fat Sparrow said...

"The one day of the year when wife beaters, misogynists and miserable husbands everywhere buy some cheap chocolates and a card that says "I may be an unloving cunt but I am obligated to buy a card that says I do in fact love you and am grateful for all the chips you make me(expires at midnight)."

I see you've met my ex.

Anonymous said...

Who or what are wigan? Its not Mothers Day here by the way - Hallmark set it at different dates in the UK and the US so as the use the same North Korean plant for all the cards and provide any extra weeks work for the slaves..

savannah said...

oh..you're talking about soccer!


*yuk, yuk, yuk*

Eddie Waring said...

Twindowlicker - I suppose as a formality I should welcome you to LB and you are welcome, don't eat them all at once.

Ellie - Regarding Twindowlicker, nothing, I repeat nothing, could be further from the truth. Although it wouldn't surprise me. Regarding Mrs.W she is rather spoiled in the "nice treats" department if you ask me.

FS - No but I know some people like him. Hiya Dad!

Mutley - It may or may not interest you to know that Mexican mothers day is on May 10th. How do you explain that?

Savannah - You get one warning and only one warning. It is FOOTBALL. Like I sez, one warning....

The Mistress said...

Someone in here is performing cunnilingus on bereaved women?

*makes sad face*

Old Knudsen said...

Wigan gives yer wife a bit of healthy competition thats a way to keep a marriage alive and yer wife on her toes.