Mark Your Calendars
You could be forgiven for missing it. It is easily overlooked, sandwiched as it is between the heady celebrations of Flag Day and the frenzy of excitement that is Fathers Day here in the World's 2nd greatest country. I almost missed it and if it were not for my boss having to cancel a speaking engagement at some wanky entrepreneurship seminar today because of it, I definitely would not have known until it was too late.
Next year, I will be ready for it. What the fuck is it, I hear you scream. Did we miss some major annual event? Are we in trouble with a family member for failing to send a card and token good wishes?
Not exactly, not unless you belong to a family of janitorial technicians, cleaning ladies, scrubbers, moppers or lavatory attendants. Today is Justice For Janitors Day. Yes.
Now I'm not about to belittle janitors or demean them or the work they do in any way. I will leave that for Knudsen. I agree that the work they do is super important and vital to the fabric of society and essential to the productivity of business and industry. Without them we are fucked. Every morning I go into my office and after a quick check to make sure they haven't stolen anything, I make sure that I take a moment to be grateful that they have emptied my bin and vacuumed the carpet. For if it were not for them, nameless and faceless to me though they are, I would have to do it myself. Being whiter than they, that just would not do and if my employees were to see me emptying my own bin it would not lend me much credibility in their eyes. So yes, I am thankful for the janitors.
Do I think they deserve their own day of justice? I'm not so sure. Where will all this end? Who gets a day of justice next? Who decides? Will Hallmark attempt to cash in on these "Justice Days"?
Don't Fuck With No MildMannered Janitors
All I know is this. Stopping traffic on Wilshire Boulevard in the middle of the day is hardly likely to endear their cause to any non-janitors who happen to get stuck in the resulting traffic nightmare. Surely there is a better way to bring attention to the cause like maybe only emptying half a bin while leaving the rotting banana skins, apple cores and sour yogurt containers in the office for days on end. Wouldn't that raise just as many eyebrows? How about not replacing tired urinal cakes? The smell, especially during summer might cause questions to be asked.
I don't know. I'm not going to pretend to have all the answers. That is your job. What I do know is that anyone who is prepared to work, especially doing the jobs that many of us do not want or are lucky enough not to need badly enough to do them ourselves, should receive a decent livable wage and health benefits for doing it. I know it's a capitalist society but I also know how much the agencies charge companies for their services and that the percentage that is actually paid to the janitors is a pittance. It's a very competitive field, cut throat in fact but the owners still manage to do very well.
In my personal opinion, anyone who is able, let alone willing to scrub the skidmarks off the porcelain after I have been in the disabled stall deserves at least $10 for the hour it will most likely take them to get it clean.
19 comments:
I'm not about to belittle janitors or demean them or the work they do in any way. I will leave that for Knudsen.
How did you know? Janitors indeed, fucking caretakers, in the old days they were darkies and we'd whip them for not emptying the bins fast enough, "no corn for you Cunta now go mop the floor" where is Knudsen's day? I killed the Emperor Ming and saved the earth for fucks sake, what did they do? mop up puke?
Lucky guess....
Don't change the subject, Waring.
Where's my prize?
MJ - All suggestions have been submitted to the wife and pan lid for judging.
Mrs.W stole my idea and also ran the same comp on her blog and I have to tell you that all her friends suggestions were clean and wholesome. In short, I'm not going to be placing any bets on you lot.
Hmmmm, the things I've cleaned up for $8 an hour....
Let's see, I was a manager at a fast food restaurant where the entrance to the toilets was on the outside of the building and were only locked between midnight and 6 A.M., which meant that hookers turned tricks in them, junkies shot up in them, and homeless people bathed and washed their clothes in them.
I think the topper was the one in the Men's, where someone had violent diarrhea and was sick to their stomach all over the floor while they were sitting on the bog. Apparently they used up all the toilet paper, and then proceeded to the paper towels and tried to flush them down the toilet, which of course caused the toilet to back up and overflow. But let's not stop there, because it seems they also ran out of paper towels while they had another fit of the shits, and then proceeded to wipe their ass with their hands, and then wipe their hands on the walls in a hopeless attempt to clean their hands, as they couldn't reach the sink from the toilet. Once they finally got to the sink to wash their shitty hands, they then barfed in the sink, causing the sink to become clogged. The toilets were supposed to be cleaned before my shift ended at midnight. The restaurant didn't provide us with gloves, because they were too cheap.
Can you guess what I did?
That's right, I went home.
When the day manager asked me about the state of the bathroom when I arrived for my 4 P.M. shift the next day, I totally lied and said I must have forgotten to lock the bathrooms, so sorry, and it won't happen again. She believed me completely.
You can get away with a lot by looking innocent and having a reputation as being honest, hahahaha.
Sparrow - I think the topper was the one in the Men's, where someone had violent diarrhea and was sick to their stomach all over the floor while they were sitting on the bog. Apparently they used up all the toilet paper, and then proceeded to the paper towels and tried to flush them down the toilet, which of course caused the toilet to back up and overflow. But let's not stop there, because it seems they also ran out of paper towels while they had another fit of the shits, and then proceeded to wipe their ass with their hands, and then wipe their hands on the walls in a hopeless attempt to clean their hands, as they couldn't reach the sink from the toilet. Once they finally got to the sink to wash their shitty hands, they then barfed in the sink, causing the sink to become clogged. The toilets were supposed to be cleaned before my shift ended at midnight. The restaurant didn't provide us with gloves, because they were too cheap.
If you had been the one who cleaned it up, I would apologize but as you weren't I don't need to. Besides, it wasn't my fault. The dodgy chicken tacos were aggravated by the beer and bourbon. It was one of those nights I'm afraid....
They've got days for everything over there it seems. It is like a magical land!
i've devoted whole posts to the horrors of cleaning up after others. yet here in eddie warings comments lounge fatty sparrow has overtopped; nay, pressed down, shaken and runnethed-overed any of mine own experiences.
jesus
h.
KEERIST.
i agree that gaining sympathy is not best acheived by preventing other wage-slaves from earning their own pittances in a timely manner.
Milky - Next Wednesday is 'National Drive Like A Twat Day'. Americans spend all year practicing for this annual event. With a bit of luck it will rain to help things along.
1stN - She can do that can Sparrow. The worst bog I ever went in was at a rest stop in the middle of the desert on the road to Laughlin. Amboy, I think was the place. It looked like a maniac with an open bottle of BBQ sauce had experienced an epileptic fit. In the searing afternoon heat with not even a whisper of a breeze, the stench was almost unbearable. I swear I could smell it the whole rest of the way.
One of my guests puked in a tin waste paper bin and concealed it in a wardrobe.
It being the winter the gaffe wasn't cleaned for two weeks.
The cleaner confronted the contents of the wardrobe of death and promptly demanded a £10 bonus.
I coughed up.
Garfer - Welcome to LB! Dried throw up is much easier to clean than fresh throw up. It doesn't smell as bad either. I would have tried to talk the cleaner down to a fiver.
A fool and his or her money.....
I just want to apologise to any darkies that read my first comment, I don't want to cum off sounding racist but in fact if anyone didn't empty my bin fast enough I would have taken my service revolver and shot them dead, it just so happens that darkies were trendy then.
I will not be participating in the 'national kick a pakkie day' as sponsored by the National front . I have a synagogue to fire bomb that day , I wonder if Sikhs count though as some live on the way home from the synagogue.
Why can't we all just mow a lawn?
I have sent you a card Mr Waring - I hope you like it..
Knudsen - I don't think I have any contributors who are blessed with rhythm. At least none have identified themselves as such. As for the Sikhs, they would probably lend a foot with the kicking of Stakipani's.
Mutley - You shouldn't have......no, really, you shouldn't have.
Eddie -- "Dodgy chicken tacos"? Damn, that was you, you fucker! I should have known. I don't think the day manager ever recovered from that incident, although since she was also the General Manager, she made the flunkies clean it up.
And did you know that the founder of Juan Pollo restaurants has bought the whole town of Amboy? What he's planning on doing with it all, I haven't the faintest. Recent speculation involves a couple of restored Route 66 motels and a museum.
FN -- Having read your posts, I didn't think my comment came anywhere near close. Hell, I was traumatized by the Fledgling Sparrow pooping out olvie bits whole into her diaper after she ate olives. To this day, whenever I see olive loaf in the supermarket, I feel ill.
Janitors are fine humans - the protectors of property. Do they carry cudgels? I think it would give them more self respect if they could whack trespassers on the head.
May 21st is National (US) Waiters day. We have to share it with national Memo day. National memo day, WTF?
TO: Memo Writers
FROM: All the Waiters in the World
RE: National Memo Day
cc: Bar staff
Get your own fucking day you cunts.
FS - That is what he wants us to think. Secretly he is planning the Worlds biggest Juan Pollo restaurant. A shortsighted and poorly thought out venture as the only thing anyone wants when they get to Amboy is to be in Laughlin as quickly as possible. Chicken tacos are definitely not high on most peoples wish list whilst admiring the beauty of the middle of fucking nowhere.
GB - A stout mop handle and a can of industrial strength pine scented air freshener are formidable enough weapons and deter most would be burglers.
Manuel - Can't remember if I welcomed you before or not mate, so consider this your welcome. Welcome!
To make matters worse, this year it fell on a Monday, a historically slow day in US restaurants. I did venture out to dinner with a card and a gift for my favourite waiter but was disappointed to find that he (along with all his associates) had called in sick in protest at the clash with National Memo Day. The replacement worker however was more than adequate and was overjoyed with his gift of a $5 McDonalds Gift Card.
Your generosity shames/honours us all
Post a Comment