Tired
A restless night last night, scared that the Shrek dream would return to haunt me, I spent the night tossing (yes, very funny) and turning. It's strange though that only the bad dreams are really memorable. I can't remember the last good dream that I had beyond the Olympic shitting dream of a week or so ago (still no reply from the IOC by the way).
Somebody should invent some kind of dream capture device, possibly a hard hat lined with tin foil wired to an old Polaroid camera. On second thoughts, a Polaroid may not be practical due to the cost of the films, although you could probably pick up the camera from a charity shop for next to nowt. If anyone is interested in working on such an invention, I am willing to split the proceeds. We could perhaps apply for some kind of grant from Richard Branson or Prince Charles. Free money is the best kind of money and ideal for gambling with as you don't incur any personal losses. The hookers don't seem to mind either, money is money to their sort. We could use our winnings from the gambling to buy the hat and the tin foil. Email me if you are up for it.
Speaking of twats (Branson, Charlie), I'm extremely annoyed at my dentist for failing to do a filling when I first told him about it over a year ago. I told him again six months ago and he told me not to worry, then on my last check up a couple of weeks ago he decided that it finally needed doing. So I go in yesterday and after the normal pre-dentalwork routine (cough and drop etc.) he starts to drill away. After a minute or two of poking around (ha-ha!) he informs me that I now need a fuckin' root canal, the sadistic bastard. This will be the 2nd one this year and comes at a time when I can ill afford the expense.
I have always had my suspicions about dentists. They can tell you practically anything, and just like plumbers and car mechanics, they more or less have a license to print their own money. Up until a couple of years ago, I didn't go to a dentist for about 7 years and when I finally got over the fear and went in for a check up, all I needed apart from a good cleaning was one filling to replace an old one that had fallen out. So why then, in the two years since I started going again have I needed more work done than in the 7 previous years of not fucking going? Call me a cynic but I think he's taking the piss. I will be removing him from the xmas card list if he's not careful.
6 comments:
After reading about your Shrek dream, I dreamed that you had grown a cow's udder in place of your balls.
It was your birthday so you stuck a candle in one of your teats.
I'm sending my therapy bill to you, Waring.
when i visit the dentist I sit in the chair, grab him by the nuts and say :
"We are not going to hurt each other are we?"
It's worked so far, even down to the bills.... no wait .... that's because of the NHS :)
I dread the dentist. The sadistic bastards cause real pain and don't even smack your arse to give you illusion that you are having drity fun. It's just wrong.
see another dentist before the sick bastard has his way with you..and you have to pay for the pain, sugar!
Yes, Eddie, he is taking the piss. I have a dentist pal who says 6-monthly checkups are usually unnecessary. He advises most of his patients to "come back in a couple of years". He says that once you get past your 20s, if you clean your choppers & don't eat too many sticks of rock, you shouldn't need too much treatment ... unless you're unlucky.
Despite this he does pretty well. Your guy sounds like a crook.
MJ - How was the milk?
Ellie - The good old NHS. Is it still afloat? I don't think I benefited from a single NHS dental visit since I was 6.
FH - You are going to the wrong dentist love.
Savannah - Unfortunately, my dentist is conveniently located and has a clean office, unlike the last one that was located next door to an asian seafood market.
Dennis - He is a fuckin' crook. He re-sells the little tubes of toothpaste that are clearly marked "Not for re-sale."
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