Fake It 'Til You Make It
I was checking my shatcounter earlier today and, as I always do, making notes of intriguing searches by way of which people find my blog. Today there was only one of interest and I wrote it down on a piece of paper to remind me to research further later. I don't know what time this was but I was still tired so I went back to bed and slept some more.
When I sat back down at the PC a few minutes ago, this is what I found:
Apparently Mrs. W had seen the note and not for the first time, being filthy of mind, had jumped to conclusions. I thought I had better explain and did so. She seemed unconvinced though and simply said " I thought you were just being, you know....yourself."
Why the fuck would I be writing something like "fake spunk mixtures" on a piece of paper other than for blogging reasons? It's not like there were also ingredients and a "how to" list attached. Besides, my spunk is perfectly fine, sure it might be a bit spicy right now due to the beans and hot sauce, but colour and texture wise it looks fine to me.
Who the fuck would be searching for this? A pre-pubescent teenager trying to impress his friends? A prankster looking to surprise his girlfriend? Early preparations for Halloween? An aspiring porn actor? Knudsen?
Not that I would know, but I think that the following would be an acceptable substitute:
- Clear corn syrup
- A bit of milk
- Salt to taste
