Kodak Moments
A milestone was passed in the Waring household today. The child lost her first baby tooth. Luckily, I was at work and didn't have to deal with the frantic screaming and wailing that followed the momentous event. Mrs. Waring did the honours. By the time I got home, things had settled down and the hysteria had been replaced by excitement at the prospect of a visit from the tooth fairy. There was some debate about what monetary value the tooth fairy places on the first tooth and naturally, being a six year old who still believes in Father Christmas and the Easter Bunny, (despite the influence of some smart arse friends), she was full of questions about how and why the tooth fairy does what she does. For a man such as myself who delights in misinforming the uninformed, (you get your kicks when you can), it is like a blank canvas to Salvador Dali.
It's not just me. Mrs. W does her fair share to confuse the issues too. In an effort to persuade the kid not to mess with the tooth after it had been placed under her pillow (makes it easier to find - smart see), she tried to compare it to finding a baby bird that had fallen out of its nest and once you put it back into its nest, not touching it again because the mummy bird will abandon it (?). This didn't make much sense to me either and I suspected (correctly) that she had got into the scotch again. The child seemed very confused, so I left it at that. To try and explain would lead down roads best not traveled so I simply said that mummy was being silly and changed the subject.
I put her to bed and put the tooth under the pillow, read her a story and kissed her goodnight and she asked "how will the tooth fairy get the tooth out if my head is on the pillow?" Dammit! A logical question! Caught on the hop, all I could say was "Its magic, no one knows, go to sleep," I turned out the light and left.
A few minutes ago, the wife came out to me. The kid had called her into the room and expressed concern that she had just been picking her nose and was worried that now the tooth fairy wouldn't show up. She reassured her that it was okay and left. The wimp! I would have told her to stick that under there as well because bogeys automatically double the value of the tooth. I can just see the concerned look on the Kindergarten teachers face as the story was told to the class tomorrow...... But I'm a sick cunt.
