Real Justice

Alfonso Veracruz, a midget, is hung from a tree and beaten by the village cripple after being found guilty of stealing women's underwear while dressed as Spiderman from washing lines in a village outside Puerto Barrios, Guatemala.

They don't fuck around in Guatemala. The Central American republic recently introduced tough new laws aimed at curbing a rise in crimes commited by midgets. Unlike civilized nations, Guatemala has taken a tough stance which some activists and proponents of "little peoples" rights are calling "cruel and barbaric".

Guatemala has a poor track record when it comes to rights for minorities and even recognizes wife beating as a "national pastime". Approximately 3% of the population, Arabs of Lebanese and Syrian descent are not allowed to purchase dairy products between the hours of 7am and 11pm, any Arab found breaking this law is likely to be sentenced to "cheesing". This particularly nasty punishment involves the insertion of various types of cheese being cut into small cubes and inserted into every orifice until no more can be inserted. This type of punishment has been condemned by the United Nations and the Cheese Council of England and Wales as "extra-ordinary and unnecessary". Officials from the Guatemalan Judiciary have declined to comment on the use of cheesing but issued a press release stating simply "Feelthy Arabs are thee scurge of our society. They preetend to be mujeres so they can get free plátanos and burro rides on Sundays. Thees costs thee Guatamalan tax payer over 300 quetzals a year. We aim to make the bastardos pay".

A recent surge in crimes committed by midgets has resulted in protests by normal people in many towns and cities. There have been reports of lynch mobs being formed and midgets being dragged kicking and screaming from their tiny houses to be stoned or burned at the stake. To appease the masses the Guatemalan government rushed through new legislation aimed at deterring midgets from committing crimes. The penalties range from branding to expulsion to neighbouring Mexico depending on the severity of the crime.

Please write to your local Guatemalan embassy or consulate if you wish to receive a complimentary 2007 calendar depicting scenes of human rights abuse. Enclose a stamped, self addressed 8x11 envelope.