Recognition at Last!

Finally!
According to my shite meter, I am now the number one search result on Google for the query "zoo spunk 3 day membership". I can't wait to tell Mrs.Waring who, although generally supportive of my online time wasting, seems somewhat sceptical of how successful I might become. I think that I can say with some degree of certainty that I am cookin' on gas and it's only a matter of time now before the offers start to come in.

Needless to say, the searcher was German and didn't stay long once he/she realized that I didn't have whatever it was they were looking for. Hopefully this pic will save any future desperados a wasted visit.

Better late than never.... A chimp has a sly one of the wrist.

I've never really understood the attraction of fucking with animals. It just seems like too much work catching them and getting the fuckers to keep still and/or quiet. There's also the element of danger to consider, and maybe that's why people do it. Every now and again, some work colleague or other will come running into my office thrusting their cell phone into my face yelling "Ya gotta see dis man!" Lo and behold 9 times out of 10* it's grainy footage of some toothless, bony skank blowing a horse. Being a man of science, I have to watch as this kind of behaviour interests me. Is she really enjoying it? She looks like she is but the cynic in me says that is because she is either a) off her tits on crack or b) being paid, thus enabling her to go and get off her tits on crack just as soon as Mr. Ed blows his load. And what of the horse? The horse is at fuckin' Disneyland. Horse's don't get blowjobs from other horses (I challenge anybody to prove me wrong on this) and so you have to think that although he maybe isn't quite sure what's going on and didn't neccessarily consent to it either, he is after all getting a hummer which really isn't too unpleasant in anybody's book.

I do wonder though how many of these things go horribly wrong, resulting in a visit to the hospital with a hastily, not too well thought out explanation of what exactly you were doing, naked, in a field with a donkey that caused it to kick you so hard it shattered your pelvis. Another thing I'm not clear on is do people have eyes only for certain animals or will anything on four legs do in a pinch? I mean the whole subject of bestiality is fairly taboo in most circles but is there a subculture of people who only like to shag rare and endangered or particularly dangerous animals? And are these people looked upon by the "normal" dog and sheep fucking crowd as weird?

See, this is what happens. Some emaciated German type enters "zoo spunk 3 day membership" into Google and I am left with all these questions in my head. I must have answers.

* The other 1 time out of 10 is usually a gif loop of Bart Simpson banging Lisa. Hi-fucking-larious I must say.