Fuck Sears!!

Sears are cunts. I will never buy a single fucking thing from them ever again after yesterday. Utter bastards.
I needed a new water heater as the old one had been leaking for the last two weeks, so after shopping around online, I found that Sears had the exact same model advertised for $289.00. Perfect, for the last six years we have lived in the house, the pilot light had never even gone out, and as the heater itself was 11 years old, I figured that I may as well stick with the same brand, a Kenmore.
You can't order water heaters on the Sears website, you have to call an 800 number which I did. The lady who answered seemed a bit rude but I let it go on the grounds of it being Friday. I told her I was calling to order a water heater and she told me that they had one available for $489.00 plus delivery, installation and tax for a total of somewhere around $700. I politely said no thanks as I had a plumber who would install it and I didn't need delivery as I wished to take advantage of their instore pick up (Ready for pick up in 5 minutes - Guaranteed!) I also told her that I wanted the one advertised for $289.00. She asked me for the item number and then told me that in California the cost for that model was $349.00!!! Why, she could not tell me. It was the exact same model sold in other states but for $60 more. Fuck it, I need a water heater so I say okay.
The girl asked me which store I would like to pick it up at. I told her Glendale. She checked and said that Glendale only showed one in stock and that it might be a floor model or already sold so she checked the Pasadena store. They didn't have any but the Boyle store had several and did I want to go there instead. I asked her if she could verify if the one in Glendale was available or not, and if not then I would have to go to the Boyle store. She took my credit card details and all my info and told me that I would get a call within an hour to let me know which store I should go to. This was at 9.30am.
I was busy all morning so it was 12.30 before I realised that they had not called. I called the number the first lady had given me and was chastised by the bitch who answered for calling back too soon because the order was still being processed. I explained what the first lady had told me and after checking, the bitch apologised and told me that my order was in fact ready for pick up at the Glendale store. Great, I said, I can pick it up in Glendale? Yes, she said, it's ready for you and you can pick it up anytime. Cool!
So..... I leave work and drive over to Glendale Sears, punch in my claim check number on the touch screen display - Number not recognised, please swipe the card you used to pay for your purchase. I swipe my card - Unable to locate your transaction, please enter your last name. W-A-R-I-N-G - Please be seated and an associate will be with you shortly. Fuck! I sit down and wait.
A couple of minutes go by and this spaz comes out and asks if he can help me. I explain the situation and he directs me to the touch screen to enter my details. Already done that I tell him. Nevertheless he asks me for my receipt. I tell him I don't have one as it was a phone order and give him the piece of paper with my claim check number written on it. He goes over to the touch screen shaking his head and enters the number - same result. He asks me what I bought and I tell him so off he fucks into the back leaving me on my own. After about 5 minutes, some speccy fucker sticks his head out to tell me they are working on my getting my water heater. Right I says. 10 minutes go by and this 17 year old asian lad comes out and starts to ask me questions. I stay calm and patient and answer them all politely. He makes some notes and fucks off again into a side office. I get up and check out the big poster that advertises the "Ready in 5 minutes - Guaranteed!!" bullshit. "Your order ready for pick up in 5 minutes - Guaranteed. If you do not receive your order in 5 minutes please see the Store Manager for $5 coupon off your next Sears purchase" Cheap bastards - they can fuck off. I'm not even bothering with that which is exactly what they want but fuck em.
Another 5 minutes go by and I am getting irritated so I knock on the office door and ask if there is a problem with my order. A lady tells me to please take a seat while they sort it out. I refuse and demand to know what the problem is. It seems that the lady on the phone earlier, the bitch, fucked me. She had told me to pick it up in Glendale, when in fact the water heater I had purchased was waiting for pick up at the Boyle store. I was not happy. Seeing as I was told the wrong store and gave up my afternoon to drive over here to get it, I asked if they had one in stock. Yes, the woman says, they do. Perfect, I said, I'll take that one and be on my way. She regretted to tell me that I couldn't have that one. My water heater was at the Boyle store. And the transaction had already removed it from their stick and credited their sales, it was complicated but I couldn't change the pick up location once it was confirmed.
Now I am starting to get animated and for clarification I repeat what she has just told me. She confirms that this is indeed the case. Can you deliver the one from the Boyle store, I ask. She tells me that she can't say and that I would need to call the 800 number again.
Barely able to control myself I call the 800 number and sit fuming as I listen to the fuckin shite awful muzak that they use for their hold queue. Finally some hick namde Brandy answers and I relate the situation to her before asking to speak with a supervisor. Brandy cheerfully apologises for my misfortune and tells me that all the supervisors have gone home for the day. It's 3.45pm I tell her. She corrects me by telling me that where they are its 5.45pm. So, I ask her, who is in charge? I can hardly believe my ears when she tells me "Nobody"!!!!!!!! I hang up the phone in digust. I Get in my car and drive 40 minutes through traffic to the Boyle Heights store to get my heater. Drive 40 minutes back to work to sort my shit out and call the plumber to have them come and install it. By the time I got home it was after 5.30. 8 hours since I ordered and paid for a water heater.
Ready in 5 minutes? You fucking twats. Do not shop at Sears - ever.