This Weeks Sponsors
Jimmy hats fo' yo' hangdown.I am a big believer in keeping it real, that is why I am proud to be associated with this weeks sponsor, Black Power Condoms. I don't use them myself, I don't see it as the man's responsibility to protect himself (or his bitch) against the HIV or the clap. That kind of thing is best left to your ho. If she don't want to get pregnant, then she should be the one carrying the rubbers. Like I said, I believe in keeping it real.
I don't enjoy looking down and seeing my length coated in black rubber either, and Mrs. Waring assures me that she feels the same way, although I did catch her looking wistfully at a picture of Sammy Davis Jr. the other day. I will have to monitor that situation closely.
Anyway, they gave me a free pack in return for pimping their product and after one half hearted attempt at a posh wank (I think it was the shock of seeing a black penis in my hand that caused me to lose interest and give up), I used the rest of the pack as balloons for the kids Easter party.
The packaging is a little disturbing. The black panther looks a little startled, possibly by the ferocious look on the womans face as she hunts for sexual gratification, the kind she can only get from a man who is wearing a black rubber johnny.
Aren't brack people funny?
10 comments:
Sammy Davis Jr., eh?
Perhaps Mrs. Waring just wants you to wear an eye patch and sing Candy Man.
good news! sammy davis is dead!
although come to think of it that could mean you have an entirely different issue you should be worried about.
never mind.
good news! condoms won't be an issue!
whew! pulled that out just in time, huh?
huh?
you see...? what i did there, with the..and then, pulled out? in time? get it? like
oh fine.
Mary lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter arranged a date for her. And after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend away.
On their first night , she undressed. There she stood nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties; he was in his birthday suit.
Looking her over, he asked, "Why the black panties?"
She replied: "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still mourning."
He knew he was not getting lucky that night. The following night was the same--she stood there wearing the black panties, and he was in his birthday suit--but now he was wearing a black condom.
She looked at him and asked: "What's with the black condom?" He replied, "I want to offer my deepest condolences."
Happy Easter Eddie x
Is this part of a durex pay per fuck ad campaign?
To answer yer question yes they are, back on the Plantation it was my job as the charge hand to give handjobs to the slaves to keep them placated, don't worry you get used to the colour, the size is a little intimidating .
It doesn't make sense to advertise condoms with a big-titted woman. You don't need a condom with bust relief.
Why does nobody call condoms jonnies anymore?
"(I think it was the shock of seeing a black penis in my hand that caused me to lose interest and give up)"
Try it with your non-dominant hand. Does that make it your "submissive" hand? I suppose that's a whole 'nother kettle of sexual fish to fry.
GB said.... "It doesn't make sense to advertise condoms with a big-titted woman. You don't need a condom with bust relief."
A gorilla after my own heart.... But if you think that those are big titties, you need to get out more.
MJ - Sadly, I cannot carry the high notes like good old Sammy.
1st Nations - you see...? what i did there, with the..and then, pulled out? in time? get it?
You didn't? Did you? Ooooh, you did! Naughty!
Ellie - Splendid! Extra points to you for rolling that one out on Easter Sunday!
Mutley - When I originally approached durex to see if they would give me free rubbers in exchange for ad space they told me I was too small. The heartless bastards didn't need to get personal. A simple no would have sufficed.
Knudsen - Just the thought makes me shudder.....What did you do with all the jizz?
GB - Or with a panther....
Kav - We called em johnny bags when I was kid. We also called anyone named John the same thing. In primary school there was a kid whose last name was Dillon,not knowing any better we all called him Dildo. His parents wrote a letter to the school asking them to tell everyone not to call him that because he had asked Father O'Keefe after mass one day to call him Dildo.
FS - I even tried sitting on my hand for a bit to make it numb, so it would feel like someone else was doing it, but then it just seemed weird. A lot like the time I stole that mannequins hand from C&A.
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