Weather Pussies

I got home from work and put on the news. I am trying to avoid the news. Too much negativity and sensationalism for my liking these days. I prefer to read about it on my own schedule instead. That way I can pick and choose what I read, like things about Jamaicans who live in household appliances, electric wheelchair fires and dangerous toy recall's. I try to avoid the grim reality of the bullshit in Iraq, or the suffering in Darfur. It depresses me. I know it's the easy way out and it's selfish but I don't need to be constantly reminded of it day in day out.
Today though, was different. I needn't worry about seeing any disturbing images of the days suicide bombings in Baghdad or having to fight back tears while watching starving African kids dying.

Why?

Because it was quite windy here in Los Angeles. There was a bit of a breeze and it was causing havoc. Some people were temporarily without power and there were some lightweight trees that had been blown over. Also, to make matters worse, it had rained for about 10 minutes earlier in the afternoon and the roads were a mess.
For those of you unfamiliar with the media overkill that is LA (I'm talking to you, cave dwelling Taliban members) the slightest variation in the weather sets the local TV news crews on red alert. 'Stormwatch', 'Stormtrack', 'Stormwank', all the graphics get trotted out as if OJ Simpson had committed another murder or as if some big titted blonde airhead had just died. Each station has 'Team Coverage' and posts their entire crew on freeway overpasses, beaches and intersections with notoriously bad drainage, to get footage of groups of youths doing bunny ears behind the reporters head.

So, the wind was pretty bad, they said. A roof had blown off a fish wholesalers in Culver City and Montebello was without power.
Tonight was a school night for me and I had no choice but to be brave and go out and face the elements. Me against nature. One man versus 62 degrees and sunny with occasional wind gusts. I put on my string vest to keep me warm and my best pair of wellies just in case it rained again, and set out for the college.

The news people were right, fire trucks, police cars and paramedics streamed by me, sirens blaring, lights flashing. A side street was cordoned off with yellow LAPD tape, I could see several people holiding up a small wooden fence that was threatening to fall over onto the pavement as I crawled by in the 5 mph traffic while everybody slowed down to take a look. Traffic lights were out and street signs were swinging violently. I even had to put on my sunglasses as the glare from the sun on the car in front was making things difficult for me. I got to the college and cruised around looking for a parking space for 20 minutes, it seemed everybody had turned out early, fearing the worst. I finally decided to park, perhaps illegally, against a wall in the parking lot as there was no sign saying I couldn't and then walked the 1/2 mile to the college, enjoying the fresh air and the evening sunshine while woolly hat wearing others scurried by me, their collars turned up and their hands thrust deep in pockets.

I climbed the steps, crossed the footbridge, climbed some more steps, stopped for a breather and admired the clouds over the mountain tops, then made my way to the classroom. From some distance, I could see a pink notice flapping in the wind on the door. This wasn't good. It had better not be.....it was.....the fucker.....the utter bastard.....the old cunt of a professor had cancelled the class, due, no doubt, to the FUCKIN' BEAUTIFUL WEATHER we have been having!!!!

Okay you cunts. It's a bit fuckin' windy. Nothin' to write home about. No cause for alarm. Not a fuckin' problem. Things could be much, much worse. Snowed in for days, a fuckin' hurricane bearing down on us, a fuckin' earthquake for christs sake. Godfrey fuckin Daniels!!! It's not that bad. Bad is 600 being killed in Civil War, like in the Congo last week or another 75 people getting blown up by trucks loaded with explosives in Iraq and as angry as news like that makes me, as depressing as it is to see that shit day after day it is infinately more newsworthy than the fuckin' weather. You pussies.