Trust Me, I'm a Dentist

Dentists are getting a bum rap these days. Don't misunderstand me, they deserve it, the sadistic bastards. Not only do they practically have a license to print their own money but mine recently went on a two week vacation, leaving me with a temporary filling where there should have been a crown, then he came back all suntanned and smiling only to inflict upon me 2 hours of misery and a temporary crown made of metal. So now I have to go back again next week for the real thing.

First of all, MJ exposed the antics of one dirty dentist who got himself into a spot of bother for relieving himself in the sink and cleaning his ears with his dental tools. As I lay in the chair the other day, I thought about this as everything the fucker does when he isn't poking around inside my mouth or telling me to look to the side and cough, he does behind me. He could be up to all sorts of things back there. Shooting up with heroin, making faces behind my back, fondling the assistant. Who knows?

Then I read about the 'dentist' in Florida who was arrested and charged with performing dental work without a license in his filthy garage. Roger Bean was being held on $6,000 bond for allegedly performing denture fittings of the false teeth he was making in the filthy conditions of his garage. He was charging patients $200 for what would normally cost them $2,000.

Another satisfied customer....

Ron St.Mary, 73, head of the local neighbourhood crime watch said that Bean was no criminal. "He's helping the old people who don't have a few dollars, I think the world of him."
I'm not sure that this is the kind of man who you would want heading up your local neighbourhood crime watch. He obviously endorses criminal activity if the elderly benefit from it, so presumably if I were to go and rob a pharmacy and sell the drugs to the likes of Ron for less than what they would normally pay, that would be okay. I think you just lost the next election Ron and I would watch it if I were you, that kind of talk could lead to impeachment.

Then I read about a Polish dentist operating in England and Scotland who was responsible for a catalog of mistakes including perforating a womans nose when she missed the mark with the needle, giving someone unnecessary dentures, drilling through the wrong tooth and using twice the normal concentration of bleach during a root canal treatment which caused the patients face to swell up and possible nerve damage. " I meant no harm," said the dentist.

At least Roger Bean's patients appreciated him enough not to sue him.