Spotlight on Porn

Legs Akimbo!! You Know You Want it.

Aaaahhh! Porn. Sweet, sweet porn. I like it. Hopefully you all like it. Some people don't, mostly because they are boring old Ned Flanders style conservatives, but sometimes because they are victims of it, in one way or another. Today's post focuses on some of these victims, let me share their stories with you.......

First, we travel to the (hard to type) town of Oconomowoc, Wisconsin where a 39 year old man, James Van Iveren, is being charged with criminal trespass, criminal damage and disordely conduct, all while brandishing a dangerous weapon. This unfortunate individual is looking at a possible 33 month jail sentence.

Our hero claims that he broke into his neighbours apartment with a cavalry sword because he thought he heard a woman being raped. Turns out it was just his upstairs neighbour watching a porno with the sound turned up a tad too much. The neighbour told the cops that the man kicked open his door without warning and forced him at sword point to go through the apartment opening every door to prove he was alone.

Van Iveren said that he had intended to hold the sword behind his back and knock but caught caught up in the moment and kicked the door in instead. He also said that he did not threaten the neighbour, instead claiming that he "...had the sword extended. But that was all."

Van Iveren, who lived in a downsatirs apartment with his mother said he did not call the cops because he had no phone and barely new the upstairs neighbour.

Police confiscated the sword which Van Iveren claimed was a family heirloom.

Next we go to Iowa City, Iowa. Here a 61 year old cyclist lost his right leg after being hit by a 'Girls Gone Wild' bus last July. Needless to say he is suing the makers of 'Girls Gone Wild', Mantra Films Inc , the bus driver and the bus company for injuries, medical expenses, lost income, physical and mental pain and suffering, and loss of full body. He now needs a wheelchair to get around. The amount he is seeking is not disclosed but he may want to include a lifetime subscription to GGW as it's probably going to be a while before he gets any action. That said, a few million in damages will buy you some pretty imaginative hookers and a good deal of blow.

Our last victim, or victims to be precise are the congregation of the Cathedral Basilica of St.Francis in Santa Fe, NM. Worshippers at the Ash Wednesday services were interrupted by three CD players that had been duct taped to the underside of the pews and set to start playing pornographic messages at 12.30pm in a deliberate attempt to sabotage the mass.

In a deliberate attempt to remove any humour from the story, Santa Fe Police Captain Gary "Party Pooper" Johnson, refused to divulge the content of the messages, instead leaving it to our imagination.

So there you have it. It's understandable why these people may curse the evil of pornography and indeed avoid it like the plague. But I, for one will not be joining them.