Arnie Goes South
Arnie Gets His Tan Going AgainCalifornia Governer Arnold Schwarzenegger has seen better days hasn't he? Here he is sunning himself on some tropical beach, and there he was 25 or so years ago with his tiny pee pee sticking out. Can you spot the difference?
Clue - It's not the swimming trunks.
He considers these his lucky pair and wears them constantly despite there being next to nothing left of the gusset and the original elastic perished several years ago. Rumour has it that he never takes them off, even when he goes to bed or to the doctors to get his prostate checked. He has (allegedly) had a special velcro patch added where his ring is so that he can take a shit and the doc can stick his finger in to poke around.
Clue - It's not the swimming trunks.
He considers these his lucky pair and wears them constantly despite there being next to nothing left of the gusset and the original elastic perished several years ago. Rumour has it that he never takes them off, even when he goes to bed or to the doctors to get his prostate checked. He has (allegedly) had a special velcro patch added where his ring is so that he can take a shit and the doc can stick his finger in to poke around.
Have you spotted it yet? That's right, he has developed a pair of womens tats. Not a bad pair either and I say that as a proud heterosexual male. If he'll take my advice he will rub some SPF 30 on the nipples though or he will be sorry later.
Yes, years of (alleged) steroid use and abuse may have taken their toll on the once mighty Terminator. Years of living the high life, feasting on young children and drinking gold top milk are beginning to show on Conan The Mammarian. Not everyone believes it is due to alleged steroid use though. I was talking to some old guy who claims he used to work out with Arnie at Muscle Beach, long ago. He sez that he caught Arnie crying in the bogs one day because he had lost his lunch money playing a shell game on Venice Boardwalk. He says that Arnie was a sucker for shell games and was always trying to borrow money from the other queers who pumped iron at the famous outdoor gym on the beach. He strongly defended Arnold though when I asked him about steroid use and claimed that the tits are the result of plastic surgery, not 'roids. "Arnie always wished he was a woman," the drunken old twat claimed "and it wouldn't surprise me if he had saved up all his money from the movies and gone and gotten himself a decent pair of spambags. But he never did no steroids, no siree bob."
Unsubstantiated rumour in Sacramento has it that the guv was so depressed about not being able to run for President, him being an Australian, he was overheard saying "Itz no uze. Zey will never let me be Prezident. I might haz well have ze wimmins teets." Allegations by Gubernatorial rivals that he used tax payers money to have the operation have so far failed to materialize. Hopefully this story might start a rumour or two. You never know.
So, what do you reckon? I'm saying a he's a DD cup at least.
5 comments:
Moobs.
Stolen off Anna Nicole's still warm body, they were.
Lets just hope those dirty weemen don't start feeling him up.
He's not the only on our PM Tony Blair has had multiple plastic surgeries to transform him into a woman, including breast implants, a penisodectomy, and conscience removal. At least Arnie still seems to be human, unlike Tony doncha think?
I think Arnie's had the last laugh with this. He's saved thousands of dollars in prostitutes because he can now suck his own tits instead of paying for the privilege. There are also rumors (unsubstantiated) that he can self fellate, the lucky bugger.
MJ - Can you imagine how much Anna Nicoles tits would fetch on eBay? No wonder they aren't burying her yet. It's still a salvage operation.
Knudsen - Admit it, you would love to be a fly on the wall if they did.
Mutley - I always though TB was a cunt, he may as well get one fitted.
EmmaK - You mean like one of those emergency life raft things?
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