Whole Lotta Lovin'

Like every red blooded male, I have urges. Hot, sweaty, filthy urges. Mrs.Waring does her best to put the fire out but there is only so much a woman can do for her man. Especially when that man is the v(ir)ile sexual wildebeest that you know and love. That’s me I’m referring to in case you are a bit slow to get the picture.

When I get these urges, usually the 3rd Saturday of the month, there is little that can satisfy me and I have to turn to the one woman who knows all the tricks. Nasty Nancy.

Nasty Nancy is an animal in the sack she is like a 400lb female gorilla in heat. She leaves me feeling like a dirty old football sock, spent, limp and stinky. There is nothing she won’t do. Imagine, if you will, the most depraved, disgusting act you can think of and throw in a one legged midget or two just for flavour. She’s done it and done it again. She is a pure hedonist. Worse for you than crack cocaine and twice as addictive, after an hour or two in her seedy one room apartment you will never be the same again.

Nancy doesn’t discriminate either. She likees the ladies too. She swings both ways, a switch hitter, plays for both teams. In fact if you are up for a three way, her mum lives on the floor below and will be up there as fast as her zimmer frame can carry her when Nancy bangs on the floor with the brush handle. Twice for a man, three times for a lady, four times if she’s just bored and wants something to chew on.

I’m all about sharing so if anyone fancies a crack at her let me know and I will give you her number.

Watcha gonna do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk