Big Leg Syndrome
I've been noticing more and more people of late, sitting on bus benches sporting one leg bigger than the other. Not in the longer sense of the word, but thicker, fatter, almost 2 or 3 times the size of the normal leg. Usually they are all purple and blotchy with lots of weeping sores and filthy bandages that won't stay where they are put and I have to say I'm fascinated.
I'm not sure if there has been an outbreak of elephantitis or if it is just some strange set of coincidences but I must have seen at least 10 so far this year. Unfortunately, I never have my camera handy and the cheap fuckers I work for will only give me a free cellphone without a camera, so I have been unable to gather any evidence to present to you.
I have yet to actually see one of these people actually get on or off a bus which suggests that they may just be resting for a bit (it can't be easy dragging that big leg around all day) or they are possibly waiting for a special bus to come and pick them up and take them to some location or other where they can mingle and swap stories of their misfortune with fellow owners of one big leg.
Naturally these people are not exactly up on fashion. You would hate to ruin a nice pair of Diesel or FCUK jeans by having to cut one leg open at the seam so they tend to wear filthy grey marl sweatpants with one leg cut off, this probably helps to avoid chafing and irritation. They also don't seem to spend much money on footwear, usually wearing just one shoe on the good foot and a flip flop on it's big balloon like opposite.
I just don't get it. I haven't seen anyone with one big arm waiting for a bus, or stood in line at the post office behind a bloke with one big hand. So why all these people with one big leg. Something is up for sure.
On a similar note, Mrs. Waring just informed me that as she and the younger Waring were watching the Westminster Dog Show on telly, there was some bit about therapy dogs. They showed some poor kid with one finger sticking out of his elbow, no forearm and no hand, just an elbow finger. Young Waring tried to convince the wife that the kid was just hiding his arm in his jumper. She is learning fast that child is.
I'm not sure if there has been an outbreak of elephantitis or if it is just some strange set of coincidences but I must have seen at least 10 so far this year. Unfortunately, I never have my camera handy and the cheap fuckers I work for will only give me a free cellphone without a camera, so I have been unable to gather any evidence to present to you.
I have yet to actually see one of these people actually get on or off a bus which suggests that they may just be resting for a bit (it can't be easy dragging that big leg around all day) or they are possibly waiting for a special bus to come and pick them up and take them to some location or other where they can mingle and swap stories of their misfortune with fellow owners of one big leg.
Naturally these people are not exactly up on fashion. You would hate to ruin a nice pair of Diesel or FCUK jeans by having to cut one leg open at the seam so they tend to wear filthy grey marl sweatpants with one leg cut off, this probably helps to avoid chafing and irritation. They also don't seem to spend much money on footwear, usually wearing just one shoe on the good foot and a flip flop on it's big balloon like opposite.
I just don't get it. I haven't seen anyone with one big arm waiting for a bus, or stood in line at the post office behind a bloke with one big hand. So why all these people with one big leg. Something is up for sure.
On a similar note, Mrs. Waring just informed me that as she and the younger Waring were watching the Westminster Dog Show on telly, there was some bit about therapy dogs. They showed some poor kid with one finger sticking out of his elbow, no forearm and no hand, just an elbow finger. Young Waring tried to convince the wife that the kid was just hiding his arm in his jumper. She is learning fast that child is.
6 comments:
Diabetes. Get used to it, you'll be seeing a lot more of it here in the States.
You must live in a posh part of So Cal, if you've seen that few of them. Here in the Inland Empire, we're crawling with 'em.
They like to stick the leg out in front of you, and moan and grumble and really make a meal of it. Usually while I'm trying to eat my Super Size Big Mac meal with Large Shake. It makes me sick; sick, I tell you.
Maybe you've got a gammy eye mate.
Well done on yer 100oth hit.
In ameeting the other day my boss asked me if I knew what Lambent meant (with a twinkle in his eye).
I erased my blog PDQ but will be up and running under a new guise sortly.
I have that same problem except it's my enormous cock that's riddled with weeping sores and scabs.
Its radiation poisoning.
Big problem down here as well - mutancy, crosspecies fertilisation etc.
I have linked you Mr Waring, as I knew your father and he asked me to forgive you.
Damn you, Kav. That's what I was going to (cleverly) remark. Fuck it.
Fuck it anyway.
Fuck.
FS - Yeah...I'm in the posh part. The neighbours just like to act poor by putting cars on their front yard and threadbare sofa's on their porches to confuse the criminal element. Inland Empire eh? Maybe that's where they all get the bus to everyday?
Lambent - Fuck. That's something I worry about. My boss reading this shite. Not good for a Childrens Crisis Counsellor at a Catholic School to have a mind like mine. If they find out I'm fucked.
Kav - I'd get some TCP on it mate. Rub some Savlon in, it's Valentines Day, enjoy yourself.
Mutley - Thanks for t'link. Ignore my old man. He was always jealous, ever since me mam told him I had a bigger dick.
Bock - Shouldn't have spent all day fiddling with it then should you lad? Got on here earlier you would have beaten him to it.
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